21 days

It takes 21 days to break or make a habit. What are you suppose to do for those 21 days? 21 days can be a long time. i think i barely made it 21 days in my last living situation... but i think that was a completely different thing. I have now been back for 1.5 months. I'm finally starting to form some habits. I think life is better when you have routines and habits. I enjoy my mornings slowly rising, making coffee and relaxing, either reading,checking my email or talking with Sandra if she is here. The rest of my day always seems to be a blur as i've actually been working a lot. I have no idea what is going to happen when I actualy have morning class. I crave a future of certainty and routines.

Habits are forming in Istanbul and I'm starting to relax. The only problem is when there is a habit that seems all to framiliar that you try to break. I always live my life thinking that anything is possible, so even bad habits go away within time... perhaps 21 days worth of time.

home vs house

It has been in the last few weeks where i realized the the importance of what I did with habitat two years ago. I thought before, i've lived in crappy college houses and never had a problem. I do think it would be nice to raise families in nice housing so I happily built houses and supported the habitat mission. However with my recent experiences i now understand the importance of feeling comfortable in your house. There is nothing worse than dreading to go home. The constant avoidance of being at home, of bringing friends over due to what might be waiting you unexpected.

I am now much happier in a place where I enjoy going home. I know nothing crazy will be different. It does seem that they have changed something every time i come home. It is quite entertaining actually, as they are very crafty people. Life is looking up and my happiness level is definitely higher.

welfare

I had a lower level student ask me about food stamps and what they were yesterday. I explained or attempted to explaın our welfare system. Thıs ıs a complete foreıgn ıdea to turks because for them ıf they are poor they lean on theır famıly. the ıdea of an ındıvıdualıst socıety ıs very dıffıcult for them to understand. That theory hıt home wıth me yesterday as for the fırst tıme ı serıously contemplated baılıng and comıng home. I was worrıed about what ı would do and what people would thınk of me. I dıd realıze that no matter how much our socıety ıs based on beıng ındıvıduals we do have a sense of famıly and communıty and no matter what you are supported ın all your decısıons. I thınk that here they dont have that. You cant make crazy decısıons and be supported by your famıly. You cant even make decısıons that may conflıct your famılıes ıdeas. That ıs what ıs so great about our western culture.