Outside city walls

I remember seeing the difference in lifestyles when I went to Cappadocia, I finally realized that Turkey is a poor country. As many people were telling me, Turkey doesnt want to admit it but, they are a 3rd world country. There are a few pictures i didnt post but of the ones i did, that was life there. Everything was rock and crumbling. Its a tourist destination, all i saw were hotels, yes the hotels were nice but what about the other people living there. Everythign was broken. there was rebar sticking out everywhere, it looked likea big construction site minus the fancy tools.

Houses with broken windows, I assume they are abandoned. Houses without roofs, i hope they are abandoned. Life with very little amenities. Do they hate that tourists are coming through on a daily basis snapping photos and riding in fancy coach buses? They love to take advantage of us. We are making their living, but does it bother them? I think it would bother me. It bothered me being a tourist in that situation.

I realized that a lot of villages were like this. When i ask my students where they are from they always tell me some small village. When talking to my roommate last night she was telling me that where you are from in Turkey is a big deal here. It is probably the second question you ask someone when you meet them.
I asked why? was there different ways of treating people when you tell them where you are from? She said many times yes, cause they have different values in each area.
I then wondered how my students came to Istanbul, or big city life. I know most of them are pretty well of, as English Time is known for its expensive tuition.

I think of all the modern day conveniences, we americans, take for granted. I am doing laundry right now, and one thing i really miss are american washing machines, complete with DRYERS! My clothes comign out nice and soft. The way things just work in America, but then I also love that people arent frustrated when teh electricity goes out. that is just common, or when the water isnt working for a while. thats just common. In America people would be yelling and complaining instead of just dealing with it. I guess i've just learned to deal with the fact that things might not work out, and so I'm able to be happy.

A Historical Realization

I just got back from Cappadoccia. What a crazy place. First off, taking over night buses is not comfortable. I should think about sucking it up and flying.

The first day of my tour was interesting but the second day was when I was really blown away. The underground city was ridiculous. It amazed me what Early Christians went through, first off to carve out 8 floors of stone, multiple rooms and being able to survive there. The time and man power it must have taken to build those cities is ridiculous. They said there would be thousands of people who lived in these cities too. They could only cook once a every few days and only at night for fear of enemies looking for them. THey would hid underground for days, not in luxury but on rocks. The first thing that came to mind during this was the Flinstones. No joke everything was rock. It amazed me that people would actually find them, as it felt like we were out in the middle of nowhere. Beyond that, there were 36 underground cities found in Cappadocia. Understanding a bit more what early Christians went through was very interesting. I think i have hardships when people make comments to me about Christianity, but i dont have to hid my faith. Even living in a predominantly Muslim country, They dont really bother me about it, I also respect them enough to not go around boasting my religious views.

I find it intersting that a country with so much Christian history has little to few actual Christians in it. How did it completely turn around? How did the Muslim religion over take this area. I would really like to know the connection between the two religions and their areas. I have already started wikipedia-ing the historical questions i had.

Traveling alone wasnt bad. I met lots of people on my tour, but I like traveling with my friends. You can find silly things to laugh about, and the down time goes by a lot faster. I'll make due.

I know there was a lot more I was going to comment on, but I cant think, I'm still quite tired, so i'll probably post again later.

Needing a little American

Well my second class if finished. One of the girls was about to cry as she left. That was cute. This class had an interesting dynamic. I got to know their personal lives pretty well, which was always interesting.

I think the most entertaining part of today was when one girl walks in late, and we were just discussing random things. She interrupts and says "christy! ray (her american dance teacher she is in love with - who has also been hitting on her) is married! He has a wife and two children in America! HE IS MARRIED! TWO CHILDREN!" My response was a bit of a chuckle and said "well what did I tell you about American guys, no good. They are very much liars, I'm sorry." What an American guy move, She was like " he doesnt wear a ring. and friend of mine found out and told me" Poor girl.

We ate food and watched "Despicable me" which is actually a really good movie! One of my fellow teachers put a bunch of movies on my harddrive. that will be nice for the holidays. On my walk home I got really sad. I have not been really homesick since I left. OF course i have days where i want to be home, but never homesick like I was fighting back tears. I am no sitting in Starbucks in attempt to get work done. I dont want to be annoyed by those cats at home, and I have a bunch of hours to kill until church tonight. Note to self. Dont be away from family next Christmas.

cats

I was fine not having pets when i grew up. I liked animals like i liked children. they were fun for awhile but it was nice to give them back to their parents. Currently I am cat sitting for the two kittens that live downstairs, since i'm teh one who is here for Christmas. Two kittens, cute. but annoying. I come home for my few hour break, I sit at the table (the only place i have a spot to sit) and I'm attacked by kittens. they wont leave me alone. They are clawing at my shirt. I try to give them attention but I also had work to do, plus one of them smells. They are quite annoying I must say.

Today I finished my first class, they were an intense class, I started with them,after they kicked out the first teacher. I had my good nights and bad nights with them, but overall a great class. One of the girls made cake and brought it tonight, then I practiced with them for the test. After I said my goodbyes, i went to the teachers room to finish my paperwork, one of the turkish teachers called to me and said i had students looking for me. I went out and there were three of my students waiting for me to go out for a beer. Fun guys. we sat and practiced both languages. These were three of my favorite students. Very hard workers, not neccesarily the best ones, but entertaining. Two of them were the ones who always came to class drunk. They asked me lots of questions about my life in America. They were comparing prices of things,, and my favorite line was this " Christy, what kind of car did you have. what did you pay.. this is what it is in turkish, very expensive." Student" yeah cars very expensive so thats why i have a horse." (horse in turkey is like having a horse in chicago=ridiculous)I realized that he wasnt being sarcastic, because that had come up in class a few times. He was a very entertaining quite student. After our beer then insisted they take me to starbucks. I insisted they were crazy and that I wouldnt sleep tonight. So here i am one the morning blogging because I had starbucks. Note to the Americans, turks dont know the word No. We got our coffee to go, and started walking. At this time it was two male studnets and me, and they insisted to walk me to my door b/c it was midnight and I shouldnt walk alone. What great guys. During the last two classes, the differences between American men and Turkish men have come up. I have noticed a complete opposite. In turkey where i feel a lot safter a guy wont let me walk home alone. In america where the liklihood of me getting mugged is higher, a guy will easily let me walk home after my persistence.

The other week i went out to dinner with 8 of my turkish female students and my American friend Russ, The girls insisted on paying and when russ got up to go to the bathroom the girls freaked out. They told me that Turkish guys always pay and they were worried that russ would do that also ( Russ and i snickered as we both knew neither of us had the money to pick up a 10 person tab) i think its interesting how this culture still accepts teh fact that men take care of the women. When I was in cambridge i remember having a discussion with Bennas housemates about dates and weather a guy should pay. I remember feeling very old fashiioned when I insisted that a man should pay for a date. I hate that in America, there is that awkwardness, yes the girl offeres to pay or to split but the male is a MAN and pays. I guess our feminist friends have changed our luck.

I got a lot of warnings when I was looking to come here. "Christy they dont treat women the same there" Yes, there are many times where I am frustrated about the role of women, but many times its refreshing to know that I am treated like a "woman" I dont have to be good at sports, I dont have to be competitive to get a males approval. It is ok to be feminine, I am still respected. Not " woman make me a sandwich" but i will make you a sandwich because I would like to serve you.

I'm not sure if any of this makes sense, it is late for me, and I've had lots caffinee/sugar. However, my original post was going to be this: class one finished, i did it. Life is good. I am still trying to figure out my life after English time

no show

Well I had two private lessons scheduled today and 0 percent happened. Communication is one issue that really bugs me here! My ING Bank one, told me that he got an email from my office saying it was cancelled, funny they couldnt push "forward" to me so I didnt make the hour commute to wait half an hour and come back home.

While I was sitting there, I made lots of plans and goals for myself. I thought a lot about life after Turkey, Sometimes i wonder if there is going to be life after turkey or just continued life in Turkey, but over all, i think i'm pretty sure my future plans are based away from here. I started looking at what goals I have for my life. What I want out of a job and how I can attain those. I really want to pursue my languages so I'm going to make a concious effort to study A LOT! I was asking my roommate some Turkish questions and she got me interested in a language school that would probably work with my ridiculous schedule. I am also trying to keep up on my italian. I'm thinking about spenind my week and a half holiday there so i can further my language skills and be more appealing to international businesses. Fluency in three languages would be my goal, one that I'm going to work hard on. that means I need everyone who reads this blog to hold me accountable.

After all that life planning and thinking, I came home. Two of my roommates where here when I arrived and one asked me about what we were going to do for christmas, we are the only two goin to be here, and I started to think she meant turkish christmas "new years eve" But she said christy, Friday and saturday what do you want to do? Eat here go out? Go out for a christmas dinner and then go out? She said she would find something festive for us to do. that made me really excited, I said as long as I wasnt by myself I would be happy. You cant really recreate Christmas here, because it wont be the same as it was with my family at home. Its time to make the most of what I have and to celebrate Jesus's birth. I told her my only plan was to go to church and i would do anything afterwards. It made me excited as I was beginning to think i would have a really lonely Christmas.

Welp I am off to study! Starting my new year resolutions early:)iyi geceler(turkish goodnight) buona notte(italiano)

rain rain go away

I dont mind the occasional rainy day,but when its been a solid week of rain, it starts to get annoying. As I was walking home today, dodging the massive amounts of umbrellas that walked by, I was thinking what I would rather have: a million of umbrellas or frigid temperatures? I think I actually would go for frigid temperatures. I just dont like carrying umbrellas. I hate my feet being wet all the time. However I do love getting out of bed and not rushing to put on as many layers of clothes as possible. There is always the pros and cons.

Yesterday I was feeling a bit homesick. I had a crappy morning class, listened to some people complaining about life then went home by myself. Altoghter a very bad mixture. I remember walking to work that night counting in my head how much time I have left here, I also was hoping that something in my night class would cheer me up. It seems that everytime I get a little sad or frustrated something turns it around pretty fast. Sure enough I had an awesome class. I was in a very giggly christy mood, and totally fed off my class. Altogether we had a great class. Once again, God was watching over me, and provided.

During one of our breaks today, Brandon and I were chatting when we heard two teachers arguing about something to do with English Time, Brandon and I were talkign about what if we just up and quit. It sounded fine to me, but then I kinda of panicked? What would I do? Yes go back to America as easily as one $50 plane change. But what would I do in the States? Now that freaked me out. absolutely nothing about that plan sounded good (of course- except the fact I would be with my family and friends) My mind was quickly calculating how much money I had, and how much that would last me. I decided that whole fake quitting idea was not worth it. Although I am pretty sure the teachers are getting really fed up with some of the drama going on at our school. I do believe this time it was about some people not getting paid the correct amounts. Luckily for my first full months paycheck, I did get paid right. Oh the joys of working in a foreign country.

On a fun note. My morning class was in a bummed out mood because they didnt do so hot their writing exams. The fourth hour I knew i had to do something to cheer them up. I got one of the guys to belly dance for us. Keep watch on facebook as luckily today I had my camera on me! I was sure to document that moment really fast:)

A friend in the time of need

I like being in Turkey, but it was starting to get lonely. I was starting to get into a rut of going home and staying home after my classes. I noticed why the teachers hang out only with other ex-pats. some turks just cant be trusted. I'm learning that, On saturday night i figured I was going to spend another night reading by myself when my phone rang. it was my roommate telling me to come meet her at some restaurant. Even though i was already in my pajamas I knew i needed to get out and go. I quickly dressed and met up with them. It ended up being a great night. I hear some good music then one of her friends invited me out dancing, which was really fun too. I got to meet a whole new group of people, and they were friends with my roommate which made them all very trustworthy. That was nice. The next day I went to church, it was the Christmas carol service. A girl sat next to me, and I eventually started talking to her, as i havent given up on meeting new people at church yet. She was asking why I didnt come to a few events and I explained they were all during my odd teaching hours. She took me to the Chruch lunch where I met a lot of other people. Her act of kindness really helped also. Finally that night, I went out after work with some of the teachers and one of them asked about my days off, and we realized we had the same ones. She asked if we could hang out on those days cause she doesnt do much otherwise. I said definitely and she actually called me the next day to do something. Wow. three things in a row that didnt fall through :) Yay, its nice to have that during the holidays when it sucks not being in America.

clear headed

Ok I think I am a little more clear headed for this post. Yesterday was a very thought provoking day but when i started typing, i also started a chat with a friend I had planned to talk with so I couldnt give my thoughts their full attention.

In all reality when have you ever known me not to jump from topic to topic though. Ok first thing. Nationalities. When I was walking around yesterday I realized, that no matter what I want/ I will never be anything but American. I will never be "turkish" I dont look it, I dont act it, I cant fathom ever fitting in becuase thier first assuption of me is that I'm white, light haired, so I must be a foreigner. Sadly there are plenty of people who looke like me, so i wonder if they go through the same thing, even though they are turkish.

I wondered if that was a struggle people had in the USA. We are a very diverse country but do they sometimes feel like they don't look the American part?
I think even holding an American passport puts us aside from the rest. We have priviledge ( i know i spelled that horribly but i'm too lazy to look it up.) I forget how lucky I am to be an American. i've never had much national pride, but there are days where I am thankful. For instance, i have the passport to the world by being a native English speaker. People would kill to be that lucky. I can virtually go ANYWHERE and find work. I dont need any training. just the fact that I speak it. Crazy. Think for example if the world started speaking all Arabic. Your favorite TV shows were in Arabic, you had to watch them via subtitles. ALl the movies were produced in the middle east. All the celebrities you heard about, didnt speak your language, and though down upon you if you werent fluent in Arabic.

America does this to immigrants. They are trying to learn teh language, but you yell at them when stumble through thier sentences. Some say " go back to your home land" However, i have lived in both Italy and Turkey now, and yes i do attempt their language but they dont yell at me, or make comments about me when I screw up. they are actually impressed that I'm trying. I'm trying to fit in. Why cant we have a little more tolerance in the USA. English is NOT easy. As i sit here trying to figure out our grammar stuctures I am in awe when my students memorize things so quickly. We have hundreds of irregulars, in turkish there are 3, yet I'm still struggling with those three.

On a lighter note. I found a great Christmas radio station to stream! I'm going to try to have it on non-stop to get me in the mood. its hard to celebrate when you are sweating! My students said there is a chance of snow this weekend. I was really excited, and they were the complete opposite. I also am going to start some backing and share the christmas joy with my lovely students :)

FDA got nothing on me

What a day of cultural thought. First, I met Brandon and we went to the Grand Bazaar to so some bargaining. We were both looking at Tavla boards (backgammon) and kind of wanted ones to play, not for touristic purposes. Obviously we werent going to spent a lot of money on them. One guy was arguingwith us and finally was like what is your lowest price? I said 30 apeice for two really small boards (very over priced even at 30) and he was like "so not 5 more, and i said no. he goes "what is this a game for you, dont you care that we need to make money?" Brandon and i looked at each other confused and walked out. Most shop owners love talking to us, and we wouldbe pretty nice and talk to some of them back, and most importantly we are inclined to buy from you if you dont pressure us, bad sales tactics man. It did get me thinking about that though. I do know that Turkey is really poor, these shop owners dont sell a lot, and its defintely not tourist season. Whats thier life like? I like supporting their economy but then i think, hm would they buy things in the US? No, they wont even go to the US. so why are you hating me for not spending what little money i have on you?

The whole poverty issue is interesting here, More on that in a later post.
When i was at home later, i was very much looking forward to my return tothe states. I tried so very hard to change my plane ticket. and my chat sessions with STA just didnt go through. On my way to work i realized that a lot of days i miss being home, but something about teachign always changes that. And yes once again, my class tonight made me realize why I love teaching in Turkey.

My students love me. That makes me feel good, but i also wonder if its cause of my personality or if I'm actually teaching them well. I love the attention though. I need it. I need the affirmation that I'm appreciated, and here I get it.

I was missing Christmas activities and was thinking about cookies i could make. when i got home from work, my roomate told me she bought something today. itwas cookie cutters!
I was so excited so we started talking about what we were going to make, and holiday celebrations. This discussion turned into a cultural discussion and i realized how lucky I am to be American. there are many times that i wonder what it would be like to have european passport, and now what if i was a turkish citizen. Life kind of sucks. they arent allowed anywhere. I couldnt figure out why and she is very knowledable. which is very useful. Ok I'm realizing i'm not making any sense and I have a lot I want to add, so I will continue in the morning.
iyi geceler. (goodnight)


I realized i never got to the reason for the title of my post. Food poisoning? What? I'm still trying to get used to not refridgerating things, keeping food out for days. however, its very convenient. Who knew you wouldnt die if you ate food that had been sitting on the stover for a few hours. (in some cases longer)

as simple as hello

Monday, the one day where I am suppose to not make an apperance at english time was not going to happen. The teacher that I split morning classes with had a meeting and instead of throwing in a new teacher right before the exam I said i would switch with her. I woke up thinking, dang this is my day off. I should have no alarm clock instead I shrug it off and get out of bed. Once i got ready, I was drinking my morning coffee and had two conversations with great friends from the Minneapolis. First i realized that maybe i should start all mondays off like that because they put me in a great mood, but i also realized that probably many days when I'm waking up is a good time to talk to friends. I signed off and headed to class with a great big smile on my face. today was going to be a good day. Talking to friends, didnt put me in a "I miss home slump" but a I'm excited for my day mood!

I do my preparations and was about to run an errund when one of my students saw me. his face lit up and said "christy! what are you doing here!" I said one minute and i'll explain. Ihead upstairs and one minute later when i'm walking back he had called the whole class out of the room and were all standing there excited to see me! i told them it was true i was teaching today, they were happy, and even more excited when i told them it was goign to be their class.

Needless to say, class went well. I like teaching. I like being here. The other night my roommate was asking me about my plans when my contract ends. She asked if I would continue teaching. This conversation started because iw as telling her that this was what happened in class:
student: christy when are you going back to America?
me: in june:
Student: Do you have boy friend?
Me : nope.
Student: you should find turkish boyfriend. would you take him to chicago with you?
Me. I dont know.
Student: OR... you can stay here forever! i think you should stay here forever, teacher.

I was telling my roommate that I love teaching... here. I dont think I could go back to the states and teach. I like esl taeching, but its different because i'm learning something new. I'm experiencing a new culture. It would be different to just hear about cultural differences in the classroom. Next tough question, well then what are you going to do? i told her I had no idea, I am content with my life. Yes i do miss America and the people there, but I also left for a reason. i told her that I really hope and pray that it becomes clear to me by June/July, what I'm here to do. I would love to know what I want to do when I get back to the states, right now, no job sounds appealing. Tough questions. All hopefully to be worked out in the next 7 months. Afterall, that was one of my goals: to learn about myself.

dont judge too soon

This week I was dreading my morning class. I dont know what it is about them, I just never felt any energy. I tried really hard to make class interesting and make sure they were learning. I just didnt have anything to feed off of. when they didnt understand something they were known for throwing little tantrums. This being my "monday morning" I was not excited to see them. This wednesday however, I walked in and they were very bubbly. "Christy!!!!!! hi how are you," They were still quiet in class but the fact that they were actually excited to see me was a little bit better. Then by Friday we spent a lot of the class time talking as many people were absent. They were awesome, they want to take me to some museum next week. then finally they were like "Christy, we go to starbucks for 4th hour? " Its friday, i said if we got everyone to agree then yes. Obviously there was no arguement. they even blocked the office windows so they wouldnt know what teacher was leaving. They all went to starbuck and chatted in English. Well attempted to talk in English. I actually think it was a more productive class. I think caffinee helps too. This just shows how much my days turn around here. I can be dreading something one day then absolutely loving it the next.

As for my night class. A few came in drunk on thursday. Luckily we were talking about past tense as they walked in, so after i made one walk a straight line and touch his nose, I had them tell me about their drinking experience. Where they drank what they drank, how many. They brought me a drink mixer stick as a souvenier, Which was a lady so we named her and wrote sentences about her. Overall, pretty entertaining class.

I'm starting to get used to things not going right. First off, our school NEVER has the proper materials. The printer is broke, the copier is broke. There is no paper. Most recently... Me, Where are my reading exams for today? Oh there is no paper, I'll see if i can have someone run and make copies.. Oh sorry the other school didnt have paper either. Can you give it tomorrow? Well, my students are just going to leave if they find out there is no test. "but your students cant leave." I know, but they will when there is NO test. "Oh ok maybe we will go buy paper and print it for you, we will ahve it 2nd hour."
Seriously. This is what we deal with. Sometimes i miss americas actually getting things done philosophy.

And on top of that. The power cord that i had to buy for my computer fried. So i rigged my old one to work. Geez HP! get it right. I even had an eurpean plug! but my american one works. Doesnt make sense

Times a changin'

My electricity is out. Luckily I found a little flashlight to light my way. Then it came back on for 15 mins then went back out. I decided to hit up starbucks cause i was craving coffee and hope that the internet works there. As i left my place i realized the majority of the street was lite by candle light. The two markets on the corner were gently illuminated by candles as their shop owners sat outside. It was actually really pretty.

Yesterday when i was walking home from work i saw that there was some sort of huge christmas decoration going up ( well winter decoration) but regardless it made me really happy.

I've been here in Istanbul for a month. 7 to go. Everyday I think that either it cant come soon enough or i want it to be further away. My mind changes about 10 times a day. Today i booked my ticket to cappadocia for christmas. I also responded about my plane ticket home. However that i got back, so I dont think it went through.

Today I did some Christmas shopping. I dragged Brandon along because I insisted he had to see other parts of the city in order to fall in love with it. I took him to the grand bazaar for some quality bargaining. We actually had lots of fun doing it. IT went a little like this
Store owner: 75
Me and brandon: 12
Store owner : Gasp.. noo 50
Me: 20
then back and forth for along time, I tried to walk away a lot then he put it in a bag and i was like. why do that? I'm not going to buy it for more than 30, "no 35" nope. ok 30. walk away.
And most of it was done in Turkish! I told them i didnt speak english, it was really fun, we left laughing and attempted to insult other owners but never got as good of a deal. Thats just one thing i love about the city. The game of buying things.

Turkeyless in Turkey

Well Thanksgiving came and went and I barely noticed. I do enjoy spending time with family and friends for this holiday but missing the tradition of gluttany and all didnt really bother me. I tried to explain our traditions to my students and they just couldnt figure it out. I made them draw hand turkeys and write about what their Turkey does. I'm pretty sure they thought turkey's were chickens as they were all laying eggs.

I was just catching up on some US news when I came across an article about Ms. Palin. I thought it was quite comical. She was complaining about Michelle Obamas plan to get children on a better nutrition plan. How in the world could you ever disagree that this is a good idea? Its fabulous. Obviously our society has shown that we can not control our eating habits and especially the lifestyles of our children, so yes the governement should step in. We are the laughing stock of the rest of the world. People have made many many comments to me about "but christy, you are american and you arent fat." Why are all Americans fat, Christy? Congratulations, you arent like that. Seriously many people have said that to me. I get embarassed that I come from a society that so graciously accepts obesity and worse, wont help our children fight the pattern. Enough of my little rant on the US.

Since it was the holiday season, I was feeling a little bummed out. A friend of mine invited me to a cafe where he was playing balama (turkish traditional instrument) I went there after I finished work, and it was a great night. An equivalent situation would be goign to a coffee shop to hear a few acoustic guitars. This was a bit different than hearing your normal cover band in the USA. He played songs that everyone knew and the whole bar was singing at the top of their lungs. It was great! I had no idea what they were saying but the fact that everyone was singing along the whole night was pretty cool. THey even passed the microphone around and had other people sing. He asked at one point if I would come up and play the guitar but i declined, not worth it when meredith isnt there to carry me vocally and musically. Later in the night thought when everyone left i did play a song, but they were trying to sing Turkish to it,Definitly doesnt work. If you listen to traditional turkish music, you will figure out why really fast.

Aside from that. I am learning turkish traditions really fast. Apparently when someone invites you somewhere you do not pay. I paid for my beer before we left last night and i got a stict scolding from about 3 turkish guys. The owner then told them in Turkish that Its an american thing, which i asked him to explain. Then they left disappointed. Note to self.. wait to pay:)

traffic

I dont care how much people complain about traffic in the states, or even blowing red lights because here its about a million times worse. According to my friend who was just visiting from Saudi Arabia, turkey is nothing compared to them. There is one big intersection that i have to cross everyday, many times a day. I can either wait for the walk sign or just go and test my luck. I have found that it is actually more dangerous to go when the walk sign is on becasue the cars are tryign to make their right turns. The best luck is to just look for a period of no cars on red and make a run for it. I dong know what i would do if i was a slow walker!

I dont miss american food. I think Turkey has the best cuisine. I feel a lot healthier being here, I dont even have to worry about the organic factor, becuase that isnt an issue like it is in the states. That doesnt mean they use tons of pesticides, because I'm sure they do, but everything is very local and very fresh which is all i honestly care about. I just had my favorite turkish meal. Cucumber and tomato salad and bread. I was missing the traditional cheese aspect but it was still delicous. There is this dressing you can make for the salad which is very delicious and light. Its a mix of pomegranate sauce and olive oil. I maybe sending some to the states a tradional turkish thing :)It is funny how much bread you eat here too. Easily you can eat a loaf a day. It is very light and fresh from the bakery every day. I do miss the variety of the franklin bakery but you cant really beat fresh bread that you eat with every meal and dont feel weighed down.

Welp for the rest of my day I have a goal to attempt yoga somehow in my tiny room. I can barely lay flat in the open space. I am excited to get the big room once my roommate moves out! I am pretty sure i've lost all muscle i had. I bet i wont even be able to do a push up since the only form of exercise i've been doing is hiking up and down huge hills. I did find a good park near by so as soon as i get motivation i'm going to start running. There is even an outdoor workout gym to use. Turkey has it all:) Now for motivation.

too much holiday

I have the week off. In most circumstances you would think that is a good thing. However, I just started working, the first few days were great to be off, but now I am bored. I have explored, i have walked, i have done touristy things, i have also gotten a lot of other things accomplished. But there is a lack of motivation now. A lack of motivation to do anything, i dont want to spend money, I dont want to walk in places that I dont know b/c It makes me feel bad that I dnot know the language better. I'm afraid of the super touristy areas because thats where you find the annoying Turks and mostly I just dont know what to do with myself. This is no problem when I'm teachign during the week, and I know its not too much of a problem now either as I'm very relaxed. However it is times when I have nothing to do when I start to think about things back home. I start seeing things on facebook that make me think of what I would be doing there when I have tons of free time. The answer is the same. I would be sitting and reading, much like I'm doing now. I would probably go on the same walking adventures as I would go on now, but they would be more framiliar. I am lucky to have that to my advantage it just worries me about 4 months down the road what I'll be feeling. There is no doubt in my mind that I'll be happy- esp when i see the weather reports in the Midwest but right now I dont know what to do with myself. Christmas vacation will be difficult. Actually though I can still work during break. I think I'm going to take a trip for a few days then work work work. The extra income will be nice and will be able to have some more cash flow.

I'm just bored. I do have a plan for my next few days though, which is good!

breakthrough

This may seem very small but to me its huge. I am on holiday right now, and this morning I decided I would treat myself to Starbucks and work on my Turkish. As I left my apartment and began up the big hill to the main road, I am used to keeping my head down and just walking. Its sad b/c I am so used to keeping my eyes up and making eye contact with those around me in the USA, not the case here. You regret it if you make eye contact. Its funny becasue in the US if I was walking home late at night by myself my eyes would be up and looking around constantly. Here if i'm walking home late at night my eyes are to the ground. Anyways.... back to the story. I walked out and was passing the little market next to my house and the shop worker actually said good morning to me! (in turkish of course) but I'm starting to be recognised! I'm not just the stupid tourist any more. I know "good morning" could have just been a friendly act said to anyone. but i was definitly taken aback.

My break has been good. I have a friend visiting from Saudi Arabia. He was in my Italy class with me and now is teaching there. It has been absolutely amazing to hear his stories about teh culture there. It has also been really nice to have someone to do touristy things with. We realized that our countries probably celebrate the same holidays so we could go travel together on the breaks!

I finally posted pictures, so check them out. I'm off to get other things accomplished !

travel

I am trying to get caught up on my US newsources and I came across an article about protesting "Full body scans" when flying. Everyone is trying to opt out of it for thanksgiving weekend. As i was reading about all the phone call complaints and emails "vowing to quit flying" I started to chuckle. Americans, quick to complain about everything. how many of these people will acutally quit flying. yeah maybe they will not take AS many trips, but when they want to see their family across the country are they really going to take the extra days travel to drive there? No, Americans are lazy and just like to complain.

Now I've done my bit of traveling and I can honestly say that I was a little surprised when I had the full body scan as I left for Italy. I had read about it and hte jokes that people play on those watching the scans so I just kind of laughed as i walked through. I was fine with that. Why be mad at these people are trying to keep our country safe. Yes traveling in the US is dreadful. I will completly agree that traveling in the US is much more of a headache than any other country/ airport I have been too. I think there are two reasons. One being americans always think they are right and love to complain. and Two. We need it. Do you hear of other countries having terrorists bringing things on planes? No. people hate us. We need the tightened security or things will get worse. People complain about hte terrorists but when we take action to stop or prevent terrorist activities all of a sudden they are burdened. Can you never be happy? (I will admit this isnt a completely true statement about only us having terrorist activites as I also just read about a suicide bomber in Iraq's airport... but still some legitimacy here)

Speaking on safety. I find it very odd that both when I lived in London and now when I'm living in Istanbul, i feel safer than when I was in the US. These two cities have millions of people, arent bigger cities suppose to be filled with danger? I am just not as scared. I know muggings and such occur, but I also know that the liklihood of me being held up at gun point on my walk home are a lot less likely than it was in the states. I wish the US could somehow mirror the safety that I feel when i'm abroad, it would make a lot more inclined to come back. I know what you are thinking right now... probably expecially my family... christy there was just a suicide bomber in the square you walk through multiple times a day, and you feel safe? Well yes I do. The 35W bridge collapsed in the city i was living in, same thing. Freak accidents of nature. You can't live your life in fear, otherwise, life would suck.

the turkish way

One of the hardest things for me to get used to is the 'turkish way' of paying for things. I am so used to fending for myself. All my friends can attest to my massive penny pinching techniques and here, that just doesnt work. The turkish way is one person pays the bill. Whats mine is yours. share share share. I know you are thinking whats the problem? that sounds pretty good right? Well yes and no. Yes, i love the idea of community living, its fabulous and makes life great. I love that i come home and my roommates have made dinner and offer me some. They always make plenty. Whats bad is that I need to return the favor. Im never here at nights since that is when i teach. And I just dont see it panning out, Also im confused as to what food we share and what we dont share. Apparently bread is community. There are things that I dont wnt to share that ive started to just keep in my room. That would basically be my treasured peanut butter and nutella. I feel horrible that I just cant wrap my head around how everything evens out. When i go out for a drink i want to pay for my drink and not everyone elses to. I keep a close watch on my money and right now I havent been paid, so seeing 30 lira go on a round of drinks is devestating to me. HOwever it is rude if I dont take a turn. Something to get used to.. or i try to suggest cheaper things to do!

Another thing i have notices is how turkish people justleave food out. In america we are super concerned with food safety. Here not so much. People will make dinner and leave it on the stove. I believe ther is still spagetti on the stove from 2 or 3 days ago. Refridgerators arent prized possessions in turkey and microwaves are almost unheard of. Leftovers? no, you eat it now, maybe some a little later in the night but you never put it in the fridge to eat the next day. That is another penny pinching thing i cant shake, which is why most nights i just have a sandwich to eat.

Oh the things to get used to. Last night i went out with a turkish friend and his roommate for his birthday. It was actually a really fun night. all of our plans failed miserable so we sat on istiklal street (the main road in taksim) and had a beer and people watched. Some drunk old man kept talking to them in kurdish and it reminded me of all the drunk old man stories from minneapolis. It was very entertaining. Then one of the people selling roses walked by and the guy whos birthday it wasnt, stopped him bought me a rose and sat back down. Turkish people know how to flatter a women.

Oh the woman flattering note. I did decide that in all the aspects i think american men are failing me, most turkish men are over the top.. Why is there no middle ground?

american safety

I am not sure how many people are framiliar with mitch hedburg but one of his jokes is about how he finds Subway the american embassay when he would get in trouble in other countries he would get chased to the nearest Subway, go inside and say HAH you cant touch me here. Well i feel like that with starbucks here. I never wanted to admit it and i never wanted it to happen but that seems to be my refuge and my chilling space. Its not even that i need american coffee. I think its my safety knowing I wont be attacked by turkish people. I wont be asked to sign up for some charity and I wont be convinced to try some restaurant. I know what I am getting when i walk in, and have the sercurity of framiliarity.

Yesterday I finally began to realize how women are treated differently here. I know many of you are saying, geey christy we have been telling you this from day one. I had a male tell me that I was basically made to be a housewife. NOt my personalities of caring and wanting to actually be a housewife but that Hey you are female, ready to care for all the children? I have always been telling people that ultimately i want to stay home with my children, soyou are probably asking why this is a big deal. I think it was more the fact that he said Im a woman. you stay home with the children. no question whether i want to work on the side, whether maybe there is a nanny involved. it was in stone females = housewives. No questions. It was just interesting to me. I am seeing little issues like that more and more as i get to know turkish females.

I found a church that I am going to go to. Actually I have to get ready pretty soon. I inquired about some bible studies and the only ones the told me about were for married couples. I have a feeling im going to be in some very uncomfortable positions inthe near future. ONe thing i love about being away from the United states is that I no longer have the pressure of being married. Yes i really badly do want to be married some day, but not now. Its hard being in the states where the number one question is are you dating anyone. Its even harder when a lot of your friends are getting married. Here despite the fact that the second question i am asked when i meet a turk is "are you married" i dont have the same feeling of embarassment or uncomfortable feeling. I am afraid that will come back in the bible study groups.

My birthday! I realize i havent updated this in awhile. I had a fantastic birthday. I went to my refuges spot (starbucks) in the morning where i got breakfast and read my book. The sun was shining and it was maybe 60 degrees. Then i went ofr a long walk down by the water. Very peaceful and relaxing. I came back and my roommate made me dinner. I went to class, where i had told my students the previous week how important my birthday was to me and they all remembered and said happy birthday as i walked in. Then 10 mins into class I was doing a review game and the four students that were absent burst in with balloons and a cake with sparklers and candles. The whole class then started singing, and I was so happy. The difference between turkish classrooms and american classrooms is that they dont have as many rules. I was feeling very uneasy when they walked in with fire but quickly realized that its their country and would know what they can and cant do. THen they set of sparklers inside.. another shock to me! Finally one went to grab the knife to cut the cake and walks in with a huge butchers knife. Three things that are not allowed in the US. I however didnt care and was really excited. After class some students, my friend from the US, and my roommates and I all went out or a drink. It was great. Very relaxing and i love that Turkish people take birthdays seriously. Perfect place for me! My roommate got me a plant for my room which made me really excited. I think any sort of green makes it feel more like home!

Well i believe that was a monsterous post. I have to go study. I made a bet with my students that they had to learn all the food names in english and I would learn them in Turkish. Today we have a test...

Address

Alrıght I fınally have some addresses. Now read carefully. For cards, you can send straıght to my house whıch ıs...

Chrısty Corso
İnönü Mah.
Babıl Sokak 24/3
34000 Elmadağ/ Şişli / Istanbul
Turkey

For packages my head teacher suggested ıtcome to work otherwıse ı have to go somewhere to get ıt..

Englısh Tıme
Christy Corso
Istıklal Cd. No 151/2
Beyoğlu / Istanbul
Turkey

In other news! Lıttle bıt of a news scare. I am fıne.I spent the day wıth my frıend mıke and we went to the Asıan sıde of ıstanbul. It was rıght on the water and we sat on the rocks whıch remınded me a lot of kenosha. Yesterday I dıd some explorıng by myself, I went to the area where meredıth and I had explored, ONe thıng ı dıd notıce was that I started to feel very aware of the color of my skın. I was walkıng through an underpass where ı was flooded wıth dark haıred people allw wearıng black jackets. Here ı was lıght brown haıred caucasıan gırl walkıng through and ı suddenly felt very self concıous. I know that htere are many lıght skınned turkısh people but ı to feel very aware of my skın color for the fırst tıme ever ın my lıfe. It doesnt help that on cold days ı am askıng for attentıon when ı wear my brıght green jacket.

Ive also gotten annoyed wıth the fact that ı cant make eye contact wıth anyone. Today when ı was walkıng ı looked up for just a bıt and accıdentally made eye contact wıth someone and was constantly swarmed about helpıng some organızatıon. Sometımes ı do feel better that when ım walkıng wıth turkısh people they get harassed by restaurant and shop owners just hte same. But ıt ıs frustratıng to change that habıt of mıne. I know that wıll be a topıc that wıll surface many tımes throughout the next year, but hopefully ı wıll begın to just be ok wıth ıt. I have a lot of other thıngs to do and dont really want to be on the computer all day. So untıl later!

broken computer

Well just my luck, I broke my computer so ınternet access wıll be slım for two weeks. I have decıded that maybe this ıs a good thıng, ıt wıll force me to explore and not be constantly surfıng the ınternet. It would be really nıce to skype as skypıng wıth frıends and famıly makes me feel better when ı have had a rough day but I thınk ı need to focus on gettıng set up here. My teachıng has ımproved ı got off to a rough start.

I just moved to a new house closer to work. Im lıvıng wıth some germans and turkısh people. They are great and very welcomıng I had the awkward fırst nıght there last nıght when ı got home after they had went to bed so when ı woke up thıs mornıng ıtwas kınd of lıke oh hey ım lıvıng here now. but they heard that ı was awake and promplty saıd hello and asked to have coffee wıth me. That was what I needed. They also helped clarıfy some turkısh customs for me, whıch ıs the reason why ı wanted to lıve wıth natıves. How are these others adjustıng wıth out that??

Anyways, ı am at school ıf you havent notıced wıth my turkısh keyboard typıng and ı have to go plan my lesson. I wıll try to update thıs sınce ı wont be on facebook at all. My school bans facebook on theır computers, but ı do have gmaıl!

not so free day

Today was my first day free from English Time (the school I’m working for) and it was in no way actually free from English teaching. I thought today would be a day of wandering by myself. In no way did that happen except maybe the first hour. I woke up and got ready. I looked for some apartments, one had a great view but was kind of gross for the amount they were asking. Had it been cheap I would have done it no problem. Then I was searching out the next location I was going to look at, but I was really hungry so I found a little café where I ordered who knows what and started to eat. During that time I got a phone call from a person who wanted to meet up, where I had to be there in 10 mins and I had forgotten we had plans. The language barrier had confused me whether we were actually meeting up or not. I quickly paid and left to meet this friend.

He is the friend of the friend I met last time I was in Istanbul. I almost stayed at his house which would have been one metro stop closer. The first thing him and his friend did was buy a dictionary to communicate with me for the day, which I thought was hilarious, and very much needed. It came in handy!

We went to get tea, I played backgammon with his friend and they taught me the game that is played on the other side of the board. They then took me to get more food ( I wasn’t very hungry but I think its rude if I didn’t eat when they offered.

We then naturally went out for tea (seriously I’m going to be the biggest tea addict ever when I get back) and they walked me to the apartment I’m looking at. I liked the girl who I was talking with so I emailed her tonight telling her I was interested. It isn’t the pretties place, but I liked the room that was going to be mine. I suppose I can deal with everything else. I can try to make it homey! I will be making money soon!

I was then told to rush home b/c the guys I live with were making me dinner. I got home and hung out with them, they finally got me a set of keys and an Ethernet chord. I feel bad that I am leaving now, but I hope they knew that was possible. I mean it takes me an hour to get to class!

I realized within the last few days that some of the teachers have been here for awhile and still don’t know any Turkish. How are they surviving? I’ve also realized that they are all hanging out with each other. Americans clump together, the same thing happened in Italy. Americans clumped together. What is it with us that we need the comfort of our own kind constantly surrounding us?

I kind of decided that I wont live with the other girl from my school. To much English Time drama. Too much Americanism. I have to constantly check myself to make sure I’m hitting my goals of being abroad. This was a very big factor when looking at housing. I do like the guys I live with now, but its not suitable for me. Hopefully this will work out soon!

Oh and I just got an email from my head teacher about a private student tomorrow. The email was no help. Location is made up i believe, I dont understand the level. but i get paid a lot more. It better not be super far away!

name, home, marital status

Full day number one!

I awoke this morning to the call to prayer. I remembered this from when I was here last time but this time it gave me the chills. The singing over the loudspeakers made me think that I had joined some cult. It freaked me out a little bit. I think one of the good things about where I am staying is that they arent practicing muslims so the prayer call doesn’t affect our household. The reality of being in a strange place finally came alive when I was laying there.

I didn’t understand the email I got from my head teacher today so I just went to check in. Serhat gave me directions on how to get there and got me on my way. It wasn’t hard to find my school as it in the main strip of taksim. I met with my head teacher for a few minutes and then her assistant gave me a tour of the school and introduced me to some people.

I met a fellow teacher who went to school in Madison that kind of put me at ease right away. Then I met a bit longer with my head teacher. I asked her about some adapting tips and general inquiries about phones and what to eat and not eat etc. She walked to me a place with free wifi so I could get caught up. However, it was just like in Firenze where you had to have a Turkish number. Luckily the baristas were nice to give me their phone number and log on for me. Not having wifi is annoying. I would love to skype with lots of people or even face book chat but my schedule isn’t very permitting. Maybe I’ll have to make friends with someone with wifi.

After doing some shopping, buying things I needed, I went to observe some classes. I met a bunch more teachers and there was one girl who really made me feel at home. I really needed that as most of the teachers barely looked at me when they walked in. The first class I observed was interesting… they watched family guy. That was it. The students did get to question me at first, here is how it went “whats your name, where are you from, do you have a boyfriend”

Second class I go to.. “whats your name, where are you from, are you married?” This teacher was really great and it seemed like I was back in my TEFL class, which makes me believe I’ll be a good teacher. Or at least survive. The students were all very entertaining.

Earlier in the day I was in a bookstore looking at some maps when I tourist was tryign to figure out if the maps were free. I was trying to figure out the same thing so I went to go ask. I started talking to her and she introduced me to who I think was her husband. He was Turkish and they lived in California. They were really excited about my plans in turkey and he suggested some activities for me to do. They were talking about surviving and basically said. All you need to do is get a Turkish boyfriend. Then the lady was like oh just get multiple, one for the asian side and one for here. She was really fun and they were both very inspiring.

Overall, there seems to be a theme in my day…hahah not going to happen.. Well I say that now.

part two

And so the new adventure begins. Step two of my adventure First stop Istanbul.

Backing up for a moment I had an awesome final two days in Florence. I had dinner at my favorite restaurant, I went out and had good long talks with all the people I’m close with. Then on my last night everyone who was in our program still had a big going away dinner for me, and they celebrated my birthday!!! Whooo hoo. I kinda suspected it but also thought they forgot. On the walk home I was super excited and one of the girls said she her me say that I was bummed to be gone for my birthday so they planned this for me cause they know it means a lot. How wonderful! I really did make some great friends.

Then I made my treck to Istanbul. I didn’t think it was going to be that bad b/c I had a direct flight. Here was my day. Wake up at 7:20, leave apartment at 7:50 with all my luggage and Caroline who was walking me to the station. Caroline gets me on the train. Get off train in Rome, Kristie meets me there for coffee. Get on train to airport (I totally typed it aeroport first.. I’m so in italy still) a man from seattle helps me and we talked for a lot of the train ride. When he helps me off one of the guys sitting by us mentions he heard I was going to Istanbul. He is from there and heading there himself, he then carry’s my luggage for me and makes great conversation. He makes sure I get checked in alright and then leaves. I wander around the airport for a bit then my two hour flight takes off. It was barely half full. I get to the airport and someone is waiting for me. Both he and the driver don’t really speak English, but the one guy brought his little child with him, like three years old and he was soooo adorable! We then headed to what I thought would be a short journey to where I was staying. Boy was I wrong. We hit lots of traffic and eventually they stopped for gas, what else do you do when you stop for gas? Apparently you get your car washed too. I couldn’t figure out if that was normal or they were trying to wait for traffic to break up. We start driving again. More traffic, they seemed a little distressed. About an hour later they stop and open my door, this was for the man and kid to get out. Not me. Then we proceed to drive, we hit traffic again, this is 2 hours into my trip and he is trying to ask me to call my friend that I’m staying with. Nothing is going right, finally my friend is calling my phone so we have the correct number, he talks to the driver and figures out why I havent gotten there yet.

Finally I arrive. I’m greeted by 3 Turkish people, two lived where I was staying and two were friends from school. They were making dinner -fabulous I was starving. We sat on the floor and ate, they made pasta and were joking about the fact I was coming from italy. They were all great people and spoke English fairly well which was nice. They left and I sat and talked with Serhat for the night> after many cups of tea and an episode of south park. I am hitting my bed, which seems pretty nice. I’ll get up early tomorrow to attempt to explore. He is going to lead me in the right direction, but will be in class most of the day. I’m going to my school tomorrow at 4:30 to observe some night classes. I’ll will update more on my school then.

another day

I've realized that when I post the majority of my blogs, I'm either extremely sleepy or have picked up and left the post a million times. I would be surprised if any of them even make sense. because for the most part, i dont know check them before I post. :)

Well I'm coming to the end of my italian venture, and its with bittersweet thoughts. There are minutes where I'm like finally! i have a plan and a new adventure. then there are times where I'm like, wow, i'm going to miss this place.

For the most part though, I know i have something good coming, It will be hard. I will struggle with being away from family and friends, but I can only hope that I'll make a new group of friends like the ones i've made thus far. It seems that each time period in my life I find a core group that help me get through. My friends have always changed due to who I'm around, and I know that will happen again, but it's hard saying goodbyes. Especially to a place where I can't say I'll come back too.

I did say my goodbyes to London and now here I am 3 years later, returning. I am pumped. It wont be the same because once again it was the friends I had there that made it such a rewarding experiece but it will be a tme for nostalgia.

One thing i know i wont miss is all the drama that is happening in our friend group in Florence. I would not be able to stay here much longer no matter what, and I'm happy that I'm one of the first ones to go.

its for real

Welp, it happened, I got a job offer. I was really super nervous earlier, and while i was talking to the lady on the phone I was geting excited. When she ended the conversation saying I would have an offer coming shortly I was estatic. Then reality sunk in. i'm moving. to turkey. Wow. 10 months - i'm not good at commitment, Probably one of the reasons i havent settled down yet. 10 months in a foreign country.

The more i think about it, the more excited i get, Its accomplishing all of my goals and I know good things are going to come of it, its just like wow, its happening. What if's are poppingup everywhere. My life is going to e so different. Some can say yeah i lived abraod for a year. But how many can say i lived in a totally differnt country than western europe, survived, and most importantly learned something.

I went to the Uffizi today when i realized i would have limited time in Florence. It was amazing. the history, the skill. Simply gorgeous. I was kind of excited that I was there by myself, I had a moment to be alone with my thoughs and kind of process the last few weeks. It was interesting to me that all these ancient historical pictures depict Christ and many biblical stories, yet our culture rejects these idealogies. Why is it that some of the most important historical painting have so much to do with Christianity but we cant even talk about it freely anymore. I was very intrigued by this as i wandered from room to room today. I finally came to an appreciation of florence also. I saw in teh background of one of the paintings the duomo and it all came together how much history was involved with this city. Its quite amazing, really.

new backbone

I passed my class, with pretty stinking good marks. I'm happy. Then i promptly got kicked out of my place, so throughout my stressful hostel search i decided to go to perugia for the weekend with one of my classmates. it was really relaxing and made some good contacts however, i dont think perugia is the place for me. We stayed in a farmhouse, and toured the small city oh and dont forget the visit to the chocolate factory! Two of the girls i lived with last month offered their couch for me to sleep on. Originally i was going to stay for a few nights and head to england however with our lovely terrorist threats I've been freaked out and am staying here for a bit longer. It's been great living with them. they make me feel really at home even though i'm totally imposing.



Now i am job searching, I really do feel like i'm ahead of the game compared to most of my class. they just finished cover letters, I have had mine sent out for awhile and am slowly hearing back from things. if you havent noticed, italians arent really prompt. I dont understand thier motives, but oh well. its each person for themselves.

I had a job interview yesterday, it was completely in Italian which was interesting. They told me when i went in that it was with massimo, he was definitely the one I spoke with on the phone that didnt speak english so I assumed that my interview would be interesting. He told me that it was to see how i acted in the teachers situation. To see if I could explain something in thier language if they didnt understand. They said I did well and they would be calling me for an actual second inteveiw, However i wasnt too impressed with the city. and I'm kinda feeling that Turkey is where I need to go to accomplish the goals I set for myself.

Ok to the impressive backbone story. My biggest pet peeve since I've been abroad is the "American Stereotype" My personal goal is to meet people and to try to breakdown their preconcieved notions of us. Last night REALLY pissed me off. The three girls i'm living with and I went to find some dinner. We came across this pretty nice looking restaurant that wasnt too pricey. the lady said she did have one table downstairs for us. Since we were starving we said we would take it. Just our luck it was set next to a table of 5 American girls who we ridiculously loud and obnoxious. We couldnt even talk to each other, like seriously couldnt talk to one another becasue we couldnt hear a thing except the screaming next to us. Caroline politely asked one of the americans to be a little quieter cause we are trying to enjoy our meal. Nothing... Laura asked later, and just got harassed by the annoying italians, Kristie stormed off to find out waiter, who asked them and it got quiet for 2 mins. then was back to normal. We were so embarassed of our culture that once the Italians left and we paid our bill we decided we needed to say something (by the way, they were all young 20-21 year old study abroad students b/c we heard them tell the italians how old they were) My friends decided it had to be me who said something, so they practiced a few things with me. The two that were really pissed left, and caroline and I stayed to make our opinions known. I politely tapped on on the shoulder and said that I was sorry we complained so much, (they blamed it on the italians) and we were like no, it was you guys too. And we said it was hard coming here because it was nights like tonight that make Italians hate our culture. They got a little defensive and we walked away, satisfied, and hoping that at least down the road they may look back at this and see what we mean.

We did have the talk that we may have been loud and obnoxious when we were study abroad students but we wanted to change what we could by sharing our experiences with them. Its frustrating to see that maybe i was like that, or even worse- that it is acceptable in our culture to be so rude.

planner

I am a planner. I plan my life, granted I've had a lot of "freak out" moments. I've changed my mind on career paths a million times, but I've always ended up somewhere. Right now I have no idea where my life is going, it frustrates me, I like plans, I also like spontaneity, but generally in the right capacity. When you don't know where you are going to sleep the next night-- that bugs me.

I have no doubt that I'll find a job. I'm a solid candidate, I loved teaching, and I was good at it. Thankfully, I have that much going for me. I just dont know when or where. I wish I knew that I just had to travel for a bit and it will all work out. I've made countless pro's and con's lists this past week. They make sense for all of 3 hours, then I go back to second guessing myself.

It's been really great getting to know the people in my program. They all came here for different reasons, they have very different pasts than myself and I've heard some pretty amazing stories. I have found one similarity though. We are all on a quest to find something out about who we are. There are a lot of people who had great things back home but needed to discover something about who they are, I think I can say the same about myself. i loved being in the US, but something was missing, I didnt know what I wanted in my life, and this just seemed to be a logical fix.

I have a bunch of goals for myself for this time in my life. What makes this job search harder is knowing that before I accept anything or move anywhere I have to make sure it's a strategy to help me obtain my goals. I know it sounds selfish, but this is about me. This is my time to figure things out with out the influence of , well, i dont know what influence cause I was always surrounded by great people in the States. But maybe there is a new influence that will help me find what I'm searching for.

A sign

In the last few days reality has set in.. What am i doing with my life? Where am I going? and most importantly Why am I doing what I'm doing, and am I reaching the goals I've set for myself. I thought I had it all figured out, then I was chatting with one of the girls in my class asking questions about applying for jobs and she questioned my motives, the first one to do so, and it really shook me up. She did it in a way that just had me look at my life's options in a new light, rather than condescendly. She ever so nicely asked my why I wasnt planning on staying in Italy, I said I didnt feel like I fit, I havent found a place I want to call home. She reminded me I've only seen big tourist areas, which i realized also. Then she asked why I came here to begin with and that was for the language which i said was a dead end because I've spent so much time trying to learn my own native language. I havent accomplished my goals here, and i'm ready to move on. Is that what I'm suppose to do? Am I copping out, and taking the path that seems easier? I came home confused. I made a pro's and con's list, and I prayed. I figured that if I just applied everywhere God would take care of it right?

I've been struggling with that a lot the last few days and slowly talking myself back in to Istanbul. Then tonight something pretty ridiculous happened. I found a church I wanted to check out. It had its service at 630 at night and all of the sundays so far i've been busy at that time. I hoped that maybe God would help me out through the message or something. I get there, it looks like a crowd of a bunch of study abroad students. they start, the worship is alright. They had an awesome Italian gutiar player who graced us with a song in italian. then they said something about Mark shultz coming to play. The accent was hard to decipher so I figured they meant they were just going to play one of his songs. This guy comes up and starts talking about what he's doing in Florence, and about how he saw this church, came in asked if he could sing a few days ago, and here he was today. He pulls out a keyboard and talks about this song he wrote when he was a youth director. then sure enough he plays one of his songs. I saw the people in front of me exchange the same look of disbelief that was going through my mind. Mark Shultz just happens to come to Florence and ask ot play at this small English speaking church, on the one Sunday I am able to go. Wow, powerful. He led a few worship songs and I think that was my sign from God.

I'm still not one hundred percent on this, but the reason Istanbul got so so much attention from me is that I found a christian church there that seemed pretty awesome. That is one of my personal goals. To learn more about historical happening, and ephesus being so close I think I can accomplish that one. However, Rome definitely has some pull also. This is how i talk myself in circles.

Mostly it changes everyday. I'm a big bag of confusion, but I thought tonight was pretty cool. Now its off to apply to a few jobs, and finish proof reading.

teaching

I've been pretty overwelmed with this course I'm taking. It seemed like my whole life was devoted to lesson planning, grammar, and portfolios. Sadly, i'm sure that any teacher reading this is saying "duh Christy its not as easy as it seems" I can finaly see the end in sight. It is sad that I dont know how well i've done with my one goal " to get to know the culture/people." I do feel better about it though.

Today I had my first one on one actual teaching experience with a student. Our first meeting I created a "needs analysis" to find out her level and today i created a lesson plan. It was great, I walked out with a smile and didnt put myself down for the first time. Normally after each lesson we have we need to talk about "what happened" which generally turns into a work on this and this and this session. Today I realized that I could screw up and the student would still learn. I was still successful no matter what I didnt explain very well. I knew today that I would like teaching, its now a struggle of where and when i'm going to teach.

Lucca lovin

After two weeks of being in Italy, today I finally feel in love with the country. I took a day trip to Lucca which is about an hour and a half away. It was absolutely gorgeous, and a much needed break from the hustle and bustle of the city. There was green! There was space to walk, without being run over by cars! It was more what you see in movies than Florence (in my mind) will ever be. One of my flatmates and I were going crazy with the lack of nature and the massive amounts of tourists we are daily battling, so when we saw the wide open feilds our hearts fluttered a little bit. After wandering around the city walls, we checked out the inner city streets. The cool thing about Lucca is that it preserved its city walls which are now over 2000 years old. There is a path on top of them so you can see both in and out of the city. We sat down for a nice meal, which I personally thing was the best thing i've had since I've been in Italy. We got taken to the garden seating which was under a stone canopy, pretty much like a courtyard. They gave us some breadsticks that were absolutely to die for, then I saw a dish on the menu that I just had to try--for you dad. I choose the polenta, I know it was kinda risky since I dont really like the stuff my Dad makes but since its apparently a pretty italian thing I decided to give "polenta con funghi" a try (polenta with mushrooms) We also ordered some wine and relaxed. The wine was amazing, I guess when you just buy the bottles that are 2 Euro at the grocery store, we have pretty low standards, but this was ACTUAL italian wine. Our meals came and they were amazing, We followed our huge meals up with a nice caffe latte, to energize us for some more wandering.

We ended up laying in a field for a bit just taking in the beauty surrounding us, simply breathtaking. Then wandered and caught the train back. Overall it was very relaxing which is what we needed because the course i'm taking is really intense. I've barely been able to see florence cause each day we are in class, and at night we are trying to study or accomplish all of our homework assignments. This week is going to be really rough, I need to job search on top of it all.

I believe I have my job preferences pretty undercontrol, althought it still does change everyday. I'm really interested in Turkey and maybe a few smaller/coastal cities here. Hopefully this week I'll get some leads.

piu piano

Piu Piano which means slower, can describe my weekend. It describes the perfect weekend. After a week full of rushing to class, rushing to get to stores before they closed, and rushing to just find out where the heck I was going, I needed to go slower. Two of my roommates and a large chunk of my class heading off to Cinque Terre for the weekend which left one of my other roomies and myself to explore and finally see what the city has to offer. Saturday morning I woke up early with hopes of beating the normal hustle and bustle of the city to sneak some pictures. I work up and got out of the house at about 7:30am. The streets were quiet except for the few shop owners outside their stores sweeping and washing their walkways. I wandered and eventually led me to my favorite spot in the city, the river. I crossed over, and walked alongside the river gazing at its beauty and the reflections of the buildings in the water.

I got hungry and really warm so I headed back to my flat, where my roommate was up and ready to start doing touristy things. We set out with a mission, we visited the duomo and climbed teh million stairs to get to the top and have a beautiful view of the city. Then did some shopping and wandering, and ran some errunds. We came back exhausted, took naps then got ready to go out for the night. We had one mission for the night "be available and open" From following this blog you probably realize that I've been frustrated with the amount of Americans around. I told her that we needed to just go someplace, make ourselves look available and friendly and from my experiences something will happen. Well we found out that if that fails then you just casually follow italians until they eventually stop to talk to you. This is also a good way to practice your italian. SInce they didnt speak english very well, i was the translator, I learned that the more I spoke freely- knowing that about every other word i said was pronounced wrong or in the wrong conjugation- they figured it out and we were able to communicate. I also felt more at ease with speaking.

It was interesting to hear them talk about Americans, we would be walking around the city and they would point to a group coming up and were like "look, Americans! i know because they wear short skirts and dress all ridiculous." Then as we approached would hear them speaking loudly and talking about how they wanted to get drunk, Yep hello America!

Sticking with the walking theme, my legs were absolutely DEAD today. I spent most of the doing homework and preparing for the week but I got sick of being inside so I went for a walk. This time, very slowly, looking at every piece of beauty this city has to offer. I took the time to notice each unique doorknocker, each window design, The way the balconies are almost pointless because one person can barely fit on it. Then out of the corner of my eye I caught a glimpse of the Duomo poking out behind one of the streets and it really hit me how lucky I am to walk past this piece of beautiful histroy every day, multiple times a day on the way to work. I remember when i was in Rome and walking past the colosseum, and saw all of these businessmen driving past. I thought tomyself, how awesome is that, they drive past the COLOSSEUM EVERY DAY! its like they are living in a history book. I get to do that, and finally realized how priviledged I am to be here and to learn about history on the front line, and to physically see it's beauty.

Fitting in

One thing I've noticed about Italians and their dress is that one, they are very skinny. Everyone is, i dont think you could actaully come here not being skinny cause its very hard to fit in doors and beds and such. I just got out of the shower where I was starring at the cubicle around me wondering what someone would do if they were a bit wider than myself. I barely had room to turn around. Two, they were loose clothing, for the most part. Its funny that they are skinny and wear loose clothing and in the US the large people try to fit into these skin tight outfits.

Okay onto some Florence specific news, I am slowly having faith in this city. I have been able to communicate a bit more with the locals as my flatmates dont speak italian so they have me translate. I still don't feel a great fit, I dont know if its the people I'm with or the people of actual Firenze.

Last night we went out for a bit, the bar we found was full of American study abroad folk. I have decided one thing, I do not want this experience to be another "study abroad" trip. My mind is just not set for the school on the backburner, go out 4 times a week, blow a lot of money on trips, be loud and obnoxious. I look at those girls and guys in the bar and was like, that does not look like fun. The girls were dancing on tables just being ridiculous, of course people have such tainted views of America, this is what we send them as our ambassadors. I want to change that, not in full, but maybe to one or two people. I want to meet a group that I get along with, laugh with and fully connect with; not that I don't connect with the people in my program, but I haven't had any stunning "ah ha" moments yet.

I know this sounds a little depressing but I do like the city. I like that I'm being pushed outside of my comfort zone, but I'm just now realizing how it might be a bit more challenging than I thought it would. Think about it, our guidance people at the school have told us to not even look at jobs until we are graduated, but where am i suppose to live next month? Should I just pick a new city and try there a bit while I get work details sorted or do I stay in Florence where I will have a bit of a safety net. I predict a lot of stress in my future.

parlatemi!

I have now completed two full days of class and on my third day in Florence. School is intense, and is only going to get worse. Luckily we arent there the entire day, maybe only from 10am to 5 or 6pm. My day changes every day due to teaching schedules. We start acutally teaching tomorrow!! Day Three!! Crazy. I've heard a lot of interesting stories about the job market here in Italy. Basically you cant find jobs in big cities which is perfect for me cause I dont want to be in a big italian city. I have definitely decided its not for me.

The city: FULL OF AMERICANS. No joke, i heard a statistic that there are 7,000 American students studying here each semester. My school is in one of the main piazza's (like city squares) and i have to surf through a crowd of tourists to get there or anywhere in this city. Today was the first day i've had time to explore. One of my flatmates and I went walking and we foundsome very beautiful areas and cute sidestreets that werent so full of tourists. I'm excited to explore further now and with a camera. I havent taken any pictures and had my first gelato today it wasnt even from a shop it was from the grocery store. Things are so expensive its so hard to convince myself to buy things. For those who know me, they know I am a huge penny pincher so having to live in a country as expensive as Italy and try to be conservative with funds is extremely difficult.

My main issue with this city is that its hard to find good italian culture. I'm trying so hard to learn the language, however, I don't look italian (thanks dad) so they speak to me in english. THen i respond in italian, and they respond in english again. I have no idea how i'm suppose to learn if they wont even talk to me in italian. Thankfully through friends from the states I have a few italian friends who have been willing to talk and help me learn my italian.

I have been thinking about where I want to go after my class. I really do think i want to stay here to learn the language. I'm scared of starting over in a place where I'm not framiliar with the culture.I find it very disrespectful. HOwever my views may change.

Its is time for bed. I'm still very jetlegged and have some homework to do before I fall asleep. I just finally got internet in my room! So now i can skpe in peace, with all that are willing.

arrival

Well here I am, its just about 2am my time and I'm wide awake. Florence has had an interesting beginning for me. I kind of feel overwhelmed but am not sure if that is just becuase I've had about 4 hours of sleep in the last few days.

I have class in the morning at 9am and I feel that maybe some of my questions and apprehensions will be answered at that time.

The only real frustration i have at this point is that my internet in my room doesnt work. It worke everywhere else in the house but apparently i'm in a dead zone. So here I am sitting in the dark of our kitchen typing away to try to put me back to sleep.

I hope tomorrow I'll have a little bit better understanding of what I'm doing as well as a better update.

Ciao

Almost there...

Alright, so I have a week and a half before I leave. Today Benna took me shopping because lets face it, anyone who knows me knows that my wardrobe is NOT suitable for Italy. I'm pretty sure that when she comes to Kenosha this weekend to help me pack she will veto all of my current clothes!

I now have my housing set. It sounds awesome, basically cause it has a balcony and I love balconies. I guess I'm pretty easy to please except for the fact that it seems like its a lot more money then they orginally told me. Man, moving abroad is expensive.

I have been giving more thought on my final destination, and I'm still not leaning anyway. Meredith seems to think Croatia or Albania are good choices. I do not disagree, anywhere looks possible still right now. My main goal is not to get caught up in cities where I meet a lot of Americans, I want to experience the local culture and learn as much about it as possible.

Countdown

I'm not exactly sure what the countdown is but I know it's creeping up fast. I decided that making this blog would be one of my first attempts to contemplate the upcoming months as well as inform those around me of what is going on. I appreciate all who will read and continue to follow my probably ridiculous rants and encounters of what is to come in the next year.

For those who aren't very familiar with my plans don't worry as I'm not even quite sure what the future holds. All that is set in stone is this: on September 4th I'll depart Chicago with an end destination of Florence, Italy. There I have housing and a school arranged to learn how to teach English as a foreign language. From there my plans are uncertain. I may stay in Italy to teach or I may end up somewhere else in the world, only God knows the answer to that right now and will show me what it is when time permits.

Stay tuned for future updates!