I've heard a lot of stories the last week that have had my mind a turning. Most out of respect, will not be referenced. I did have a big blog planned. Thoughts have been going through my mind like crazy lately, but nothing seems important enough to write right now. I have 3 months left. I am getting ready to go home. I need people around me that understand me and love me for the way I think and act. I have started hanging out with the teacher group that I so badly didnt want to be associated with at the being of my time here. However, i realized that maybe, there is a reason they all stick together. There are a lot of messed up people out there, there are alot of beliefs out there that are just plain wrong. I love the need to tell me how horrible America is, daily, but yet wear clothes that come from America and have a Coca Cola in your hand. Does that seem fair to you? Tell me how much you hate my country yet, cherish the products that come from it? I once had that same hatred for America, i think thats why I wanted out so badly. Now i'm seeing that despite how bad America can be, no one is perfect. America has for the most part been really good to me. I have advantages that others don't have. I think the teachers that have been doing this for awhile realize that "having all turkish friends" kinda sucks. I think that's what Bettina hinted at too when i first moved here. the majority of her friends were international.
I think the view of relationships, whether that be friends or more than friends is very scewed, although I love learning about it, really frustrates me.
Maybe i'll come back to touch on all the other things that have been on my mind, but right now my computer is going to die so I need to go find a power source.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Manners
A month or two ago I went to meet the friend I stayed with when I first got here, He was seeing his friend who has been studying in America and thought I would enjoy meeting him too. I remember askign him about differences good and bad in the US. One thing that he said fairly early on was how polite people in America are. I sat for a minute a little dumbfounded, then realized how true he was. All the examples of lack of manners in Turkey were flashing through my head at this point. Today in particular that discussion came to mind. I went for a walk because it is a beautiful day and I don't have class until night. I was walking through the park near my house. It was pretty desolate, I brought a book and thought I would read outside for a bit. I pick a nice spot. (there were at least 20 benches to choose from in this area, as i was the only one around) about one minute after I sat down a lady made a comment about the sun and from my understanding I believe she was asking to share the bench. Ok i think, then it was odd to me, there are literally 20 benches, why was mine special. No problem. maybe i could practice my turkish with her eventually. Promptly as she sits down she pulls out her phone and starts yelling on it. Very difficult to read when there is turkish yellign on on next to me. Ok maybe this will be a short conversation, i mean really, who sits down on the ONLY occupied bench in the park where a person is reading and then proceeds to make loud obnoxious phone calls. Nope i sat there for like 5 minutes making it through about 2 pages of my book and decide to leave. As i walk away I hit the next bench and already there the yellign is quiet, at least quiet enough to read. REALLY WHY DISTURB ME?!!?
That was one example, another one, in my class my students phones ring all the time, (there is no such thing as putting your phone on silent of vibrate in this country) I'm used to that by now, but what amazes me is that some students ANSWER their phones in my class and proceed to have a conversation while I'm teaching. really, take it outside.
Another example: shopping, normally when you are going to pay for something you go to the back of the line and wait your turn. THere has been countless situtions where I'm about to pay and a girl walks up throws her stuff on teh counter and holds out money, clearing no caring that there is such thing as a line, or heaven forbid some sort of order. Now this practice is framiliar to me as I think we do it in America. Bars. If the bar is crowded, you know that first you send up the prettiest looking girl (if its a male bartender) you push your way no matter who is waiting, you shove your money - defintely big bills as they think they will get a big tip then in their face and wait to get drinks for the group.
Somethings are starting to bug me. I love this city and country, but I'm tired of being the foreigner, getting ripped off all the time, saying two words in turkish and all of sudden they are impressed, but still try to rip me off. Still loving life here regardless of the frustrations cause lets be honest these come with every country, every city and every nationality. Its apart of adjusting.
That was one example, another one, in my class my students phones ring all the time, (there is no such thing as putting your phone on silent of vibrate in this country) I'm used to that by now, but what amazes me is that some students ANSWER their phones in my class and proceed to have a conversation while I'm teaching. really, take it outside.
Another example: shopping, normally when you are going to pay for something you go to the back of the line and wait your turn. THere has been countless situtions where I'm about to pay and a girl walks up throws her stuff on teh counter and holds out money, clearing no caring that there is such thing as a line, or heaven forbid some sort of order. Now this practice is framiliar to me as I think we do it in America. Bars. If the bar is crowded, you know that first you send up the prettiest looking girl (if its a male bartender) you push your way no matter who is waiting, you shove your money - defintely big bills as they think they will get a big tip then in their face and wait to get drinks for the group.
Somethings are starting to bug me. I love this city and country, but I'm tired of being the foreigner, getting ripped off all the time, saying two words in turkish and all of sudden they are impressed, but still try to rip me off. Still loving life here regardless of the frustrations cause lets be honest these come with every country, every city and every nationality. Its apart of adjusting.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Sitcom influenced discussions.
I have really enjoyed teaching higher levels lately because we can have some really interesting discussions. My favorite is my morning class on the weekends (yeah I'm really lucky to have a good class when you have to work saturday and sunday morning!). I try to do about 1.5 to 2 hours of speaking or speaking related activities in our 4 hour class. At this level thats what they need most. It was the last hour of my saturday class, and I asked one of the teachers to give me a topic to talk about. One said to talk about lying and a world without lies, why we lie, who we lie to etc.
Part way through my conversation i realized we talked about this a little last week so I had better switch it around. And somehow we got to telling lies to loved ones, which then led to what is love. Wow, that was a shocking conversation. Basically what it came to was "christy, there are two types of girls. Ones that we can marry and ones for entertainment." I asked if they had both at the same time. Many responded yes, some responded, no b/c of our religion.
I also asked, could you marry someone you werent attracted too. One said, "well yes, if you are married to someone, its very important that your personalities match, not so much physical attraction. But I couldnt date someone who i wasnt attracted to, you date the attractive ones." Now I was confused and getting excited cause i knew i had a good topic brewing. Many started arguing this point but mostly all came to the same conclusion. So then I asked. Why do you date? Whats the point. "we are bored, we want something to do." Doesnt it lead to marriage? "No, christy, maybe sometimes, if you are dating for many years, then you get married, you just decide, ok we will get married" I had one boy tell me, that he doesnt believe in love becasue girls always change their mind after two weeks. I said TWO WEEKS... that isnt love. Yes christy is it, he says. They just decided they dont want to date you anymore. There cant be anything as real true love, now at this time many other students were chiming in.. and basically stating that if you date someone you are in love. He said everyone eventually breaks up, now that one surprised me as this was coming from a pretty muslim viewed student. Really? cause I dont hear about the divorce rate among muslims to be pretty high. I even asked the lawyers that were in the class to confirm this for me. Then he asks me do you know anyone in love. I said yes. He says" oh thats not love. they'll just break up sometime" I smiled and said, well I dont think so, because i think they have a different kind of love then what you are talking about.
I probably have forgotten a few other surprising viewpoints, and probably could have dug deeper but class ended.
Side note, while I was asking the teacher for speaking topics we were talking about how Turks LOVE the tv show "how i met your mother" and "Sparticus" Discussions always comeback to something that happend in how i met your mother, and in that love discussion, when I said "isnt the point of dating to get married?" One girl answered "christy, its like Ted in How i Met your Mother, he is always trying to marry a girl." At that moment I burst out laughing, apologized and told her i was laughing cause we were just talking in the teachers room about that show, and how it comes up in every discussion. then the next day it came up in my discussion again!
The next day we had a discussion about swearing. Despite all the interesting views of the Turks, there is a sacredness of women that I really value. Yes maybe some call it oppression here, but in many respects I really enjoy it. For example, men have a lot better language around women, there are many things they wont say. I asked them why that was, and about 3 boys said "becasue women are beautiful, and they dont need to hear that"
Women dont play sports, yes they exercise, they can play volleyball and tennis, but not other sports. It takes away their feminity I think. One thing I hate is the competition that men give women in America. "you cant do that you are a woman, I'm better than you because I'm a man." They take away our feminity in America because they constantly degrade us.(yes i know a lot of people fight for that equality also...just to recognize the otherside of the issue) I think I was a tom boy growing up because I wanted to be accepted so badly. Up until I left i was always doing things that would probably shock people here because women don't do that. I think my sarcasm was really strong when I was in America, because it helped me be tough, I didn't want to be walked all over, that was a sign of weakness. Weakness is something not tolerated in America. Men call women fat here, and it doesnt bother them. Men don't call women fat in America, yet its going through every womans mind "does he think i'm fat, does she?" We have a problem with self image and self esteem, My students wouldn't believe me when I was explaining those taboo's to them.
Interesting.
I've learned a lot, tomorrow is three months away from the end of my contract, and I think I still have a lot to learn about myself, and who and what I want to be, I do think God broght me here to learn these things so far.
Part way through my conversation i realized we talked about this a little last week so I had better switch it around. And somehow we got to telling lies to loved ones, which then led to what is love. Wow, that was a shocking conversation. Basically what it came to was "christy, there are two types of girls. Ones that we can marry and ones for entertainment." I asked if they had both at the same time. Many responded yes, some responded, no b/c of our religion.
I also asked, could you marry someone you werent attracted too. One said, "well yes, if you are married to someone, its very important that your personalities match, not so much physical attraction. But I couldnt date someone who i wasnt attracted to, you date the attractive ones." Now I was confused and getting excited cause i knew i had a good topic brewing. Many started arguing this point but mostly all came to the same conclusion. So then I asked. Why do you date? Whats the point. "we are bored, we want something to do." Doesnt it lead to marriage? "No, christy, maybe sometimes, if you are dating for many years, then you get married, you just decide, ok we will get married" I had one boy tell me, that he doesnt believe in love becasue girls always change their mind after two weeks. I said TWO WEEKS... that isnt love. Yes christy is it, he says. They just decided they dont want to date you anymore. There cant be anything as real true love, now at this time many other students were chiming in.. and basically stating that if you date someone you are in love. He said everyone eventually breaks up, now that one surprised me as this was coming from a pretty muslim viewed student. Really? cause I dont hear about the divorce rate among muslims to be pretty high. I even asked the lawyers that were in the class to confirm this for me. Then he asks me do you know anyone in love. I said yes. He says" oh thats not love. they'll just break up sometime" I smiled and said, well I dont think so, because i think they have a different kind of love then what you are talking about.
I probably have forgotten a few other surprising viewpoints, and probably could have dug deeper but class ended.
Side note, while I was asking the teacher for speaking topics we were talking about how Turks LOVE the tv show "how i met your mother" and "Sparticus" Discussions always comeback to something that happend in how i met your mother, and in that love discussion, when I said "isnt the point of dating to get married?" One girl answered "christy, its like Ted in How i Met your Mother, he is always trying to marry a girl." At that moment I burst out laughing, apologized and told her i was laughing cause we were just talking in the teachers room about that show, and how it comes up in every discussion. then the next day it came up in my discussion again!
The next day we had a discussion about swearing. Despite all the interesting views of the Turks, there is a sacredness of women that I really value. Yes maybe some call it oppression here, but in many respects I really enjoy it. For example, men have a lot better language around women, there are many things they wont say. I asked them why that was, and about 3 boys said "becasue women are beautiful, and they dont need to hear that"
Women dont play sports, yes they exercise, they can play volleyball and tennis, but not other sports. It takes away their feminity I think. One thing I hate is the competition that men give women in America. "you cant do that you are a woman, I'm better than you because I'm a man." They take away our feminity in America because they constantly degrade us.(yes i know a lot of people fight for that equality also...just to recognize the otherside of the issue) I think I was a tom boy growing up because I wanted to be accepted so badly. Up until I left i was always doing things that would probably shock people here because women don't do that. I think my sarcasm was really strong when I was in America, because it helped me be tough, I didn't want to be walked all over, that was a sign of weakness. Weakness is something not tolerated in America. Men call women fat here, and it doesnt bother them. Men don't call women fat in America, yet its going through every womans mind "does he think i'm fat, does she?" We have a problem with self image and self esteem, My students wouldn't believe me when I was explaining those taboo's to them.
Interesting.
I've learned a lot, tomorrow is three months away from the end of my contract, and I think I still have a lot to learn about myself, and who and what I want to be, I do think God broght me here to learn these things so far.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
skyscrapers
For some reason lately I've really been missing the feeling of walking next to and along skyscrapers. Maybe its the feeling of something bigger taking control, or knowing that I'm so small in a world that is so big and magnificient, but anyways, I missed it. Istanbul does have skyscrapers, dont you worry (a city of 20 million would be next to impossible to function without some sort of corporate structure) Knowing this I took the metro on my day off to this area and walked around, It made me feel a little better, but the problem with thier skyscrapers is that they are very spread out. There is like one per block. So i barely got the feeling of being small.
The weather has been beautiful here, I would love to only wear a tank top but all the Turks are wearing winter jackets still. How weird am I to think this weather is hot?
On my second day off I decided I wanted to take a long walk, I went to where one of my students works b/c she has been upset with me for not visiting. I found her shop with no problems and she was very excited to see me. We talked, she showed me around, she took me to all of her friends stores. Showered me with gifts that I dont need (minus the sunglasses which I was going to buy that day anyways) bought me lunch, her boss offered me a job and couldnt understand why I didnt want to work on my days off from teaching "but christy, its not "work" here, you can relax and talk to people. Me"but i have to wake up and come, i'm not here to work myself to death"
I do like the Turkish work style. She was able to just leave for a couple hours to walk me around. That is something that would NEVER happen in America, you would either be fired, docked pay, or reprimanded, for just leaving for a few hours.
My student then paid for my bus on our way home, something that i've noticed is common, she was mad that I would suggest paying. Why is our culture so different. Everyone fend for themselves, no treating of guests differently. This is something I really admire about the turks, not only b/c i love being treated like a princess, but because I really agree with it. It has been very difficult for me to understand and to accept but to get used to. Another thing I am very jealous of and have talked to many Ex pats about, is tea culture. Everywhere you go, you sit and enjoy a tea with someone, no problem. You dont want a tea? oh thats almost not accepted, want to talk? have a tea. want to shop? have a tea. want to catch up ? lets have a tea. busy? lets have a tea. Its good. Needless to say after that crazy day, skyscrapers felt distant. I think this city / culture is amazing. I will eventually get my fill of skyscrapers, It can wait 3.5 more months.
The weather has been beautiful here, I would love to only wear a tank top but all the Turks are wearing winter jackets still. How weird am I to think this weather is hot?
On my second day off I decided I wanted to take a long walk, I went to where one of my students works b/c she has been upset with me for not visiting. I found her shop with no problems and she was very excited to see me. We talked, she showed me around, she took me to all of her friends stores. Showered me with gifts that I dont need (minus the sunglasses which I was going to buy that day anyways) bought me lunch, her boss offered me a job and couldnt understand why I didnt want to work on my days off from teaching "but christy, its not "work" here, you can relax and talk to people. Me"but i have to wake up and come, i'm not here to work myself to death"
I do like the Turkish work style. She was able to just leave for a couple hours to walk me around. That is something that would NEVER happen in America, you would either be fired, docked pay, or reprimanded, for just leaving for a few hours.
My student then paid for my bus on our way home, something that i've noticed is common, she was mad that I would suggest paying. Why is our culture so different. Everyone fend for themselves, no treating of guests differently. This is something I really admire about the turks, not only b/c i love being treated like a princess, but because I really agree with it. It has been very difficult for me to understand and to accept but to get used to. Another thing I am very jealous of and have talked to many Ex pats about, is tea culture. Everywhere you go, you sit and enjoy a tea with someone, no problem. You dont want a tea? oh thats almost not accepted, want to talk? have a tea. want to shop? have a tea. want to catch up ? lets have a tea. busy? lets have a tea. Its good. Needless to say after that crazy day, skyscrapers felt distant. I think this city / culture is amazing. I will eventually get my fill of skyscrapers, It can wait 3.5 more months.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Şanslı
Şanslı means Luck, My students love to tell me that when I win at foosball its only because today "teacher you are lucky," Yesterday I came across an article that said American clothing appearal stores were taking over a very popular shopping street in France. American stores, were running a France street? Isn't France known for its fashion? I began to think about other things that have originated in America. The whole movie industry, a large part of the music industry. Then i thought of all the products I see and their origin, America, America, America. We have it all. If we have it all, why did I leave thinking there was nothing for me? I am one step ahead of everyone else in the world, "American citizenship" I realized early on this year, that I was privildged to have English as my native language. But now I realized not only do I speak the language but I have all the major companies in the world in my country, near my family, in a society where I understand how to get things done. I am lucky. I literally can do anything, The American Dream. Sometimes I think that it doesnt exist, but then i think about times like now, where I realized, we have everything, and I left thinking I had nothing. I am lucky.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
snow!
It is snowing! Yesterday when we were on our way home from Canakkle we saw snow on the ground and I was thinking "of course it finally snows while i'm on the bus and cant enjoy it, Luckily it is snowing here today and I am in front of my window watching it as i type this. My roommate also told me to call my work before I go in b/c most likely they will cancel school. It isnt even sticking, but she didnt go into work today so its probably legit!
My trip to Canakkle can be summed up in one word: cold. It was like home. I finally got winter. We almost missed our 6 hour bus ride but made it with 4 minutes to spare. we got to our hotel, one of the guys got a hair cut, we had a nice long dinner, then we were going to watch the movie "troy" but all feel asleep by 9. The next morning we got up enjoyed a wonderful turkish breakfast (probably my most favorite thing about turkey)and headed to catch a dolmus to troia (troy- dolmus= minibus) the wind was so terrible i literally almost fell over a few times. We kind of rushed throught the sites as we were too cold, and didnt know a whole lot about what we were looking at. We got the 12 bus back to canakkle and got lunch, we missed our next bus to Istanbul and took the 3 oclock one. We saw a lot of snow on our way home and by a lot i mean a quarter of an inch. There was a man who had a gun on his hip that sat 2 rows ahead of us. We decided to not annoy him. We were in the last row of the bus, The bus had satellite tv and I watched New Moon in turkish, since i know that movie so well and my knowledge of turkish, I understood it pretty well. then we watched music videos. All teh favorites of the turks. 4 destiny's child songs, 3 enrique igleses. 6 Jennifer lopez. 4 Mariah carey, Marc antony. and a few turkish songs intermixed along the way.
We met a young turk that sat by us and he had the same shuttle as me on the way home so we talked. Hes a captain on a big ship and travels the world. We had some really interesting dicussions about culture and corruption and politics. It was nice to have that talk, he was very level headed and knowledgable. Then i hit my stop and walked home. Over all not a bad trip i can say i've been to troy now!
today it is snowing, it is the same temperature as it is in Minneapolis. Apparently the whole city will shut down. Bettina came and told me to call my work before i went in b/c she assumed it would be canelled. (its flurries) She wasnt going into work. At breakfast bulent said all public schools were cancelled. They looked at me and said"this is probably a joke to you huh" Yep, i reply amazing.
I think everyday I go back an forth with my plans for next year. Seeing the snow today and reading the Star trib made me miss minneapolis and the way people care about the enviroment. I get so annoyed that recycling is unheard of here. I talked about donating blood in one of my classes the day and they were appalled that I would do such a thing. I miss the feeling of giving back. Maybe here that is handled in a different way that I have not experienced yet, but i miss knowing that I can do something to change the world. Something as simple as biking instead of using a car. I did decide that if I am going to stay in Minneapolis (or any city) next year, I am buying a nice bike with my bonus.
My trip to Canakkle can be summed up in one word: cold. It was like home. I finally got winter. We almost missed our 6 hour bus ride but made it with 4 minutes to spare. we got to our hotel, one of the guys got a hair cut, we had a nice long dinner, then we were going to watch the movie "troy" but all feel asleep by 9. The next morning we got up enjoyed a wonderful turkish breakfast (probably my most favorite thing about turkey)and headed to catch a dolmus to troia (troy- dolmus= minibus) the wind was so terrible i literally almost fell over a few times. We kind of rushed throught the sites as we were too cold, and didnt know a whole lot about what we were looking at. We got the 12 bus back to canakkle and got lunch, we missed our next bus to Istanbul and took the 3 oclock one. We saw a lot of snow on our way home and by a lot i mean a quarter of an inch. There was a man who had a gun on his hip that sat 2 rows ahead of us. We decided to not annoy him. We were in the last row of the bus, The bus had satellite tv and I watched New Moon in turkish, since i know that movie so well and my knowledge of turkish, I understood it pretty well. then we watched music videos. All teh favorites of the turks. 4 destiny's child songs, 3 enrique igleses. 6 Jennifer lopez. 4 Mariah carey, Marc antony. and a few turkish songs intermixed along the way.
We met a young turk that sat by us and he had the same shuttle as me on the way home so we talked. Hes a captain on a big ship and travels the world. We had some really interesting dicussions about culture and corruption and politics. It was nice to have that talk, he was very level headed and knowledgable. Then i hit my stop and walked home. Over all not a bad trip i can say i've been to troy now!
today it is snowing, it is the same temperature as it is in Minneapolis. Apparently the whole city will shut down. Bettina came and told me to call my work before i went in b/c she assumed it would be canelled. (its flurries) She wasnt going into work. At breakfast bulent said all public schools were cancelled. They looked at me and said"this is probably a joke to you huh" Yep, i reply amazing.
I think everyday I go back an forth with my plans for next year. Seeing the snow today and reading the Star trib made me miss minneapolis and the way people care about the enviroment. I get so annoyed that recycling is unheard of here. I talked about donating blood in one of my classes the day and they were appalled that I would do such a thing. I miss the feeling of giving back. Maybe here that is handled in a different way that I have not experienced yet, but i miss knowing that I can do something to change the world. Something as simple as biking instead of using a car. I did decide that if I am going to stay in Minneapolis (or any city) next year, I am buying a nice bike with my bonus.
old update
When I couldnt log onto my blog this is something I wrote a week ago...
My head teacher told me I was most likely going to continue teaching my weekend girls which meant I would have the perfect schedule. Today I get an email. I am not teaching them, nor do I have another weekend class. I am still down on hours. What the heck English Time. I like my job “the job” I don’t like the things surrounding it. I have been thinking if I were to come back, could I come back solely for the students? If I had a different job would I lose the amazing students I have? Yes they frustrate me sometimes but who doesn’t get frustrated with their job. Can I handle the drama of English time longer? The frustrating hours. What if I were in a different work situation, how would my life be different? I always seem to not do things a second time b/c of the fear of them not working out as good as they did the first time. Tonight at dinner Bulent was asking me what I would do back in America, I told him I didn’t know. I had absolutely no idea. He then said, well you have a good job here, why not stay. I have a good job here, but is it continuing to fulfill my goals. I have thought on many occasions that I am ready to settle, but where.
I hate the feeling of uncertainty, but this time I’m not as worked up as I normally am. I know that God is making decisions. He led me here. He has led me through all my adventures. I guess come July I’ll have a better idea of what I want.
On a completely different note, I figured out how to change my keyboard to a Turkish keyboard. I am suddenly really ambitious to continue learning Turkish. Now I can type! It is very weird, and difficult but I’m up to the challenge, that is my next goal tonight…
I’ve been denied Blogging again, I think I am doing something wrong. Today’s events: I finished my first grammar block of level 4. I have no idea how I did it, thank goodness it seemed the other teacher did a good job with them. I asked my head teacher today why I didn’t get to continue teaching my weekend class. She said the new teachers needed hours. And that I’ll start a new class next week. I said. Well … I need hours too, why are they more privileged than I am. She said they were at 16 hours, you are at 20. 4 HOURS. My Students signed a petition to have me again. She said “we tried to talk to head office, they think this is better” How is this better. Lets annoy the teachers that have been here awhile. Lets not give them what they want. Ohm lets take away their collective bargaining rights. Wait, that’s America, something that I’ve been reading about and remembering more and more why I left. Why I cant stand the attitudes of Americans. But I realized I am American I think like that, I think I am right and that is the only thing that matters.
I know that I’ll start a new class that is just as good as my old class, I know this b/c for the most part I’ve had a really good experience teaching so far. But no one ever wants to leave a good thing. I know to stay positive, that is one thing I learned here. Stay positive and life will be a lot better. Expect things to be crappy, and life will be ok. Expect the worse, because it will happen, and then its not a surprise.
Key to success at English Time: expect the unexpected and prepare for it, because its going to happen.
I prepared a worksheet for my students today because they wanted extra practice. I came in early to make sure I could get it printed for them. Oh right the printer doesn’t work. They got to hand write all my examples. Expect the unexpected, and you will be ok.
My head teacher told me I was most likely going to continue teaching my weekend girls which meant I would have the perfect schedule. Today I get an email. I am not teaching them, nor do I have another weekend class. I am still down on hours. What the heck English Time. I like my job “the job” I don’t like the things surrounding it. I have been thinking if I were to come back, could I come back solely for the students? If I had a different job would I lose the amazing students I have? Yes they frustrate me sometimes but who doesn’t get frustrated with their job. Can I handle the drama of English time longer? The frustrating hours. What if I were in a different work situation, how would my life be different? I always seem to not do things a second time b/c of the fear of them not working out as good as they did the first time. Tonight at dinner Bulent was asking me what I would do back in America, I told him I didn’t know. I had absolutely no idea. He then said, well you have a good job here, why not stay. I have a good job here, but is it continuing to fulfill my goals. I have thought on many occasions that I am ready to settle, but where.
I hate the feeling of uncertainty, but this time I’m not as worked up as I normally am. I know that God is making decisions. He led me here. He has led me through all my adventures. I guess come July I’ll have a better idea of what I want.
On a completely different note, I figured out how to change my keyboard to a Turkish keyboard. I am suddenly really ambitious to continue learning Turkish. Now I can type! It is very weird, and difficult but I’m up to the challenge, that is my next goal tonight…
I’ve been denied Blogging again, I think I am doing something wrong. Today’s events: I finished my first grammar block of level 4. I have no idea how I did it, thank goodness it seemed the other teacher did a good job with them. I asked my head teacher today why I didn’t get to continue teaching my weekend class. She said the new teachers needed hours. And that I’ll start a new class next week. I said. Well … I need hours too, why are they more privileged than I am. She said they were at 16 hours, you are at 20. 4 HOURS. My Students signed a petition to have me again. She said “we tried to talk to head office, they think this is better” How is this better. Lets annoy the teachers that have been here awhile. Lets not give them what they want. Ohm lets take away their collective bargaining rights. Wait, that’s America, something that I’ve been reading about and remembering more and more why I left. Why I cant stand the attitudes of Americans. But I realized I am American I think like that, I think I am right and that is the only thing that matters.
I know that I’ll start a new class that is just as good as my old class, I know this b/c for the most part I’ve had a really good experience teaching so far. But no one ever wants to leave a good thing. I know to stay positive, that is one thing I learned here. Stay positive and life will be a lot better. Expect things to be crappy, and life will be ok. Expect the worse, because it will happen, and then its not a surprise.
Key to success at English Time: expect the unexpected and prepare for it, because its going to happen.
I prepared a worksheet for my students today because they wanted extra practice. I came in early to make sure I could get it printed for them. Oh right the printer doesn’t work. They got to hand write all my examples. Expect the unexpected, and you will be ok.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
4 months
Exactly 4 months from today I will be stepping onto American soil again. Is that far away or is that too soon? I have been gone for 6 months and I rarely notice it. When living in America I realized I rarely go home in intervals longer than 2 months, here it has been six. Yeah there are many days were I think, wow it would be nice to take a break and see my family, but over all it hasn’t been that bad. What will that say about my last four months? One that it will fly by and two that it just rubs in my face that I have no idea what I want to do in the future. Yesterday was the first day where I could actually imagine myself back in America, however I was just still as frustrated and confused about my future in America as I am here in Turkey. I realized I’ve learned a lot these last 6 months. But I think there is still a lot of learning to do in the next 4. I think teaching in the school I’m at has taught me a lot and gave me some very attractive qualities for future employment, if only I can relay the importance and benefits of these new characteristics.
My blog currently wont load. The message that comes up says “this site has been blocked by court order” At first I thought it was a stupid government thing like blocking you tube, but now I started to think about the unrest in Egypt when they blocked the internet. The rest of the internet works for me. I’ll keep trying, it definitely worked yesterday, maybe it’s a fluke.
So I found out that Turkey did indeed block blogger, but since this is a regular occurance with popular websites a friend showed me how to get around it. Dad since I know reading this is one of your favorite pasttimes, you can rest easy knowing that I've beat the system for now at least.
Throughout all this blogger drama I went to the market two doors down and bought veggies. I realized that all the food I bought can easily last through probably 4 meals, and I spent 5 lira. How amazing is this! I didnt even go to teh Sunday market where fruits and vegetables are even cheaper.
My private student at ING bank ended yesterday, we didnt really even talk about anything I had planned. We talked about current events, I found out that this is his favorite type of lesson, as when he brought it up to me, he said that everytime he reads about Tunisia and Egypt he thinks about our current event discussions. i think that is pretty cool. I am a little bittersweet about ending it. It was nice having an intellectual discussion once a week, but it was also annoying to have that hour long communte for an hour and a half lesson.
It has been rainy and cold here. I have another free day today, and i should really go do something,I enjoy lazy mornings though. I think by 2 i'll finally get out, I have to mail some letters and hopefully have an idea of where i want to go for the day.
My blog currently wont load. The message that comes up says “this site has been blocked by court order” At first I thought it was a stupid government thing like blocking you tube, but now I started to think about the unrest in Egypt when they blocked the internet. The rest of the internet works for me. I’ll keep trying, it definitely worked yesterday, maybe it’s a fluke.
So I found out that Turkey did indeed block blogger, but since this is a regular occurance with popular websites a friend showed me how to get around it. Dad since I know reading this is one of your favorite pasttimes, you can rest easy knowing that I've beat the system for now at least.
Throughout all this blogger drama I went to the market two doors down and bought veggies. I realized that all the food I bought can easily last through probably 4 meals, and I spent 5 lira. How amazing is this! I didnt even go to teh Sunday market where fruits and vegetables are even cheaper.
My private student at ING bank ended yesterday, we didnt really even talk about anything I had planned. We talked about current events, I found out that this is his favorite type of lesson, as when he brought it up to me, he said that everytime he reads about Tunisia and Egypt he thinks about our current event discussions. i think that is pretty cool. I am a little bittersweet about ending it. It was nice having an intellectual discussion once a week, but it was also annoying to have that hour long communte for an hour and a half lesson.
It has been rainy and cold here. I have another free day today, and i should really go do something,I enjoy lazy mornings though. I think by 2 i'll finally get out, I have to mail some letters and hopefully have an idea of where i want to go for the day.
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