When I was cleaning out my old work bag I found the paper that had "i love you" written on it in 10 languages. In one of my classes we were talking about different languages, we complied everyones linguistic skills and managed to get "I love you" written on the board in 10 different languages. Here they are docuemented so I can throw the paper away:
English: I love you.
Turkish: Seni seviyorum
Italian: Ti amo
Spanish: Te quiero
Greek: Saga po
German: Ich liebe dichi
Azerbajan: Men Seni sevirem
Russian: Ya tibya lublya
Kurdish: Ez heste dkim
French: Jet aime
I think its cool that I have a class that can comply words in 10 different languages. Can we say that about a class in America? I think not.
Monday, January 31, 2011
broken internet post
My internet is broken. I just worked a very long weekend, and I wanted to come home and honor the two skype dates I had tonight. Not going to happen.
I know the last few posts have been pretty negative about my job. Overall it's a good job. I was talking to my two private students today and they were asking about jobs in the US. I came to realize that most of my friends are either jobless or not doing what they love. Arent we suppose to be the land of opportunity? Shouldn't we be able to get the jobs we want?
Then I started to think about Turkish culture. He said something to me, we work but we enjoy life. Do we enjoy life? Or are we "the job"? I have been complaining about the laziness here, and I noticed the same thing in Italy, but are they enjoyiing life? Do they have something we are missing? We spent countless hours worrying about money, jobs, and career, but what about our happiness level?
There is a strong sense of community here in Turkey, there is no pressure to have a job b/c most people are living in a community setting where they share everything. Living in that sense is cheaper. Maybe we are concerned with making money b/c that isnt the case in most American households. However, nowadays many are starting to move back in with families due to economic situation, will we then start to to regain that "family culture" that seems to have been lost in America?
With that "family culture" in mind I was thinking on my way home, Maybe living here wouldnt be so bad if I was in an American work enviroment? I had something that added intellectual challenge to my day, but yet enjoyed the perks of turkish living. I love the night life here, the food, and yes even the music. Then i still think of all the idiots i have encountered lately, Which is better? I dont know. I did come home thinking I liked living here, then realized my internet doesnt work, and how frustrating that is.
I know the last few posts have been pretty negative about my job. Overall it's a good job. I was talking to my two private students today and they were asking about jobs in the US. I came to realize that most of my friends are either jobless or not doing what they love. Arent we suppose to be the land of opportunity? Shouldn't we be able to get the jobs we want?
Then I started to think about Turkish culture. He said something to me, we work but we enjoy life. Do we enjoy life? Or are we "the job"? I have been complaining about the laziness here, and I noticed the same thing in Italy, but are they enjoyiing life? Do they have something we are missing? We spent countless hours worrying about money, jobs, and career, but what about our happiness level?
There is a strong sense of community here in Turkey, there is no pressure to have a job b/c most people are living in a community setting where they share everything. Living in that sense is cheaper. Maybe we are concerned with making money b/c that isnt the case in most American households. However, nowadays many are starting to move back in with families due to economic situation, will we then start to to regain that "family culture" that seems to have been lost in America?
With that "family culture" in mind I was thinking on my way home, Maybe living here wouldnt be so bad if I was in an American work enviroment? I had something that added intellectual challenge to my day, but yet enjoyed the perks of turkish living. I love the night life here, the food, and yes even the music. Then i still think of all the idiots i have encountered lately, Which is better? I dont know. I did come home thinking I liked living here, then realized my internet doesnt work, and how frustrating that is.
Friday, January 28, 2011
common not so common
We have this saying "common sense" however, i'm starting to think that it may not be so common after all. I have had a few frustrating classes lately. I love my students, I do, but the laziness is annyoying. I think there has been a theme to many of my blog entries: laziness. Lack of ambition. moreover, lack of common sense.
Why do you want to learn English? A question seeming pretty easy for most of my students, However not being displayed. "for my career, for my job, so i can get a new job. and finally, to meet girls" At least the last one was being honest. I then asked them how one learns a language. They all had very correct answers, so, do you pay me to speak turkish to you? "no" Do you want me to speak turkish to you? I will, i would love to practice! "no" Will you speak in English during my class? "yes" I want you to learn. I want to help i do, but you have to help me.
That was my second hour of class. They are a level two class. Many of them kept saying "Christy i should be in level 6, level 6 christy" So i asked again who should be in level 6. I gave them an excerpt out of an odessey type reading, and asked them to write me a summary while the other students prepared for their exam the next hour.
That shut them up.
I wish I had money and time to just learn a language. that would be a great life. I understand they are probably burnt out, they are in class for 4 hours everyday, but its not my choice. I try to play games, i try to have fun dialogues. I give major props to teachers, that can continue to inspire and encourage students, day after day, year after year.
Why do you want to learn English? A question seeming pretty easy for most of my students, However not being displayed. "for my career, for my job, so i can get a new job. and finally, to meet girls" At least the last one was being honest. I then asked them how one learns a language. They all had very correct answers, so, do you pay me to speak turkish to you? "no" Do you want me to speak turkish to you? I will, i would love to practice! "no" Will you speak in English during my class? "yes" I want you to learn. I want to help i do, but you have to help me.
That was my second hour of class. They are a level two class. Many of them kept saying "Christy i should be in level 6, level 6 christy" So i asked again who should be in level 6. I gave them an excerpt out of an odessey type reading, and asked them to write me a summary while the other students prepared for their exam the next hour.
That shut them up.
I wish I had money and time to just learn a language. that would be a great life. I understand they are probably burnt out, they are in class for 4 hours everyday, but its not my choice. I try to play games, i try to have fun dialogues. I give major props to teachers, that can continue to inspire and encourage students, day after day, year after year.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Inspiration at last
I've been wanting to make a meaningful post but everytime i sign on, i sit here, stare at a blank page then normally find my mind and my browser changing to facebook or gmail. I have been feeling very brain dead lately, I'm struggling to get myself to read any of the books I have and I dont feel like I'm engaging in any significant conversations.
I have been struggling with the thoughts about what is next in life. I hate that it is already starting to creep up on me. I hate the thought of not knowing. I hate the idea of job searching again. What i hate the most is that I dont think i have any direction of where I want to go. I have no city in mind that I want to narrow my search to, i have no job that i want to narrow my search to. I have no concrete idea of what I want next. I want to say i'll go back to where things left off in Minneapolis, but then in the back of my head all it can think of are the reasons I left, something was missing, Until i find that missing peice i dont know where to make my next plans. I am getting tired of never knowing thought I am finally starting to think I would like to settle someplace and hope for the best. If only I knew that place.
I read Obamas state of the Union Addess. It inspired me, It gave me a bit of pride in my country. That was definitely something that has been missing. I have had trouble thinking about coming back when in reality America has no draw to me except for being with my family and friends.
He made me realize that we have it good. Despite my hatred for part of America, things do get done. We have education. i like education. I like the feeling of learning and people with respect for education. I think that correlates with my deprivation of intelligent conversations here.
Here is an exerpt from the speech:
What's more, we are the first nation to be founded for the sake of an idea — the idea that each of us deserves the chance to shape our own destiny. That's why centuries of pioneers and immigrants have risked everything to come here. It's why our students don't just memorize equations, but answer questions like "What do you think of that idea? What would you change about the world? What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Wow, the one thing I've been complaining about here, the lack of critical thinking. A german friend of Ozlem's was staying here a few weeks ago, he was talking about the brillian mminds of america, in a way i never thought of before. he said it took the most courages and brightest people sail and start all over in a new country, so already we took the great minds and from there, we flourished.
Another excerpt:
One last point about education. Today, there are hundreds of thousands of students excelling in our schools who are not American citizens. Some are the children of undocumented workers, who had nothing to do with the actions of their parents. They grew up as Americans and pledge allegiance to our flag, and yet they live every day with the threat of deportation. Others come here from abroad to study in our colleges and universities. But as soon as they obtain advanced degrees, we send them back home to compete against us. It makes no sense.
I wasnt sure how i felt about this one. I see many faces everyday who would love to come to America not to live but to travel. However, they cant get a visa into our country, and on the other side i was able to get into their country fairly seemlessly. How is that fair. Why am i so lucky?
I do think its frustrating that I have to leave the country in order to find decent employment, and in that respect i totally agree with his points. but How do we make "our great country" accessible to others? I think they have a lot to teach us as well as we have a lot to learn from them. "we educate them to send them home to work against us" is it really against us? Why does it have to be us versus them. I think that with turkey in mind, we can only help them, by properly educating thier society. Why do we have to be selfish? Arent they paying large fees? Shouldnt that be helping our economy? oh obama. thanks for sparking my thoughts again.
I have been struggling with the thoughts about what is next in life. I hate that it is already starting to creep up on me. I hate the thought of not knowing. I hate the idea of job searching again. What i hate the most is that I dont think i have any direction of where I want to go. I have no city in mind that I want to narrow my search to, i have no job that i want to narrow my search to. I have no concrete idea of what I want next. I want to say i'll go back to where things left off in Minneapolis, but then in the back of my head all it can think of are the reasons I left, something was missing, Until i find that missing peice i dont know where to make my next plans. I am getting tired of never knowing thought I am finally starting to think I would like to settle someplace and hope for the best. If only I knew that place.
I read Obamas state of the Union Addess. It inspired me, It gave me a bit of pride in my country. That was definitely something that has been missing. I have had trouble thinking about coming back when in reality America has no draw to me except for being with my family and friends.
He made me realize that we have it good. Despite my hatred for part of America, things do get done. We have education. i like education. I like the feeling of learning and people with respect for education. I think that correlates with my deprivation of intelligent conversations here.
Here is an exerpt from the speech:
What's more, we are the first nation to be founded for the sake of an idea — the idea that each of us deserves the chance to shape our own destiny. That's why centuries of pioneers and immigrants have risked everything to come here. It's why our students don't just memorize equations, but answer questions like "What do you think of that idea? What would you change about the world? What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Wow, the one thing I've been complaining about here, the lack of critical thinking. A german friend of Ozlem's was staying here a few weeks ago, he was talking about the brillian mminds of america, in a way i never thought of before. he said it took the most courages and brightest people sail and start all over in a new country, so already we took the great minds and from there, we flourished.
Another excerpt:
One last point about education. Today, there are hundreds of thousands of students excelling in our schools who are not American citizens. Some are the children of undocumented workers, who had nothing to do with the actions of their parents. They grew up as Americans and pledge allegiance to our flag, and yet they live every day with the threat of deportation. Others come here from abroad to study in our colleges and universities. But as soon as they obtain advanced degrees, we send them back home to compete against us. It makes no sense.
I wasnt sure how i felt about this one. I see many faces everyday who would love to come to America not to live but to travel. However, they cant get a visa into our country, and on the other side i was able to get into their country fairly seemlessly. How is that fair. Why am i so lucky?
I do think its frustrating that I have to leave the country in order to find decent employment, and in that respect i totally agree with his points. but How do we make "our great country" accessible to others? I think they have a lot to teach us as well as we have a lot to learn from them. "we educate them to send them home to work against us" is it really against us? Why does it have to be us versus them. I think that with turkey in mind, we can only help them, by properly educating thier society. Why do we have to be selfish? Arent they paying large fees? Shouldnt that be helping our economy? oh obama. thanks for sparking my thoughts again.
Monday, January 24, 2011
full circle
My last post i was in a pretty bad mood about turkey, however, i managed to make a full circle. I do have amazing students who invited me out after class on friday. I had lots of fun with them. Actually i've realized i havent really "laughed" since i've been here and I was laughing a lot with them. I realized that, its for that reason I'm here, I should let little office frustrations bother me. After a great weekend. I go in to work to cover a class on my day off. ONly to get MORE frustrated with our office. I tried to have a conversation with my head teacher, explianing why i was frustrated and that the way, things with the way this class was covered was not acceptable, and she had no idea what i was saying. I was very frustated and left. But once again, my students took me out and i was happy again. full circle. Hopefully this isnt going to be a regular occurance though.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
education has its benefits
There is problem with the education system in Turkey, Many of my students have told me about it. Dear goodness they need to teach critical thinking, and PLANNING! How does this country survive? I have no idea. There are a few smart ones here. Take for example my private student. Granted he is one of the VPs of ING bank he obviously has to have had some smarts, but in our lessons normally i'm the one who is learning, which is incredibly refreshing. Then i go to work, and deal with a bunch of idiots. They are not proactive what so ever, Our head teacher is just like them. I tried to get my tax Id to open a bank account today. She made plans with someone to take me and another girl at 3:30. At 2:30 she confirmed with me, wait, she confirmed with me int eh morning too. (twice she confirmed) When we were waiting at 3:30 i asked, do I need to go find him or are you going (mary and i were on a schedule) SHes like oh i'll go call him. " Oh i'm sorry the general manager called him to do something, He knew he had to take you guys today but management called (managemnt was also the ones who permitted this) Sorry!" We ask, well can we just go and figure it out ourselves.. Ohhh nooo its all in Turkish, someone needs to go with you. ME: hm ok...i peer into the office where 6 turkish people are just sitting at their desks... so you are telling me all of them are busy. SHe says "yep theya re all busy" I say. So the 6 people just sitting there, NOT TALKING TO STUDENTS(which is thier job) are busy and cant take us. Yep they all need to be here, only that one guy can take you.
Seriously.
Had she told me this an hour earlier, I would have had a turkish friend come meet us. Had she even told me 15 mins earlier, I would have had one of the students I was just teaching take us. Had they honored their plans, Mary and I would have our tax id's.
There were about 3 other things that happened in this time too, that would take to long to write. Bottom line. Think, Plan. COMMUNICATE.
I think its very frustrating coming from a background where I studied communication. I think about all the little things that used to bother me in teh workplace before and suddenly they seem so trivial. I honestly think its the education system. They arent talk to think "what if" Its a concept that I stuggle with in class. "Pretend this " My students stare at me blankly, "but teacher thats not true?" Think ahead. Oh we have one box of paper left. maybe I should order more. not wait until the paper has been gone for 3 days then order some.
I like Turkey, I do. English Time is a joke. I will have learned from it, that is for sure. I was talking with Mary as we walked. I'm pretty sure many people would stay in Turkey if they had a different job. Honestly i think many people would stay at English time if iwas run by a foreigner. Things seem to be falling apart from my understanding. Its hard to draw the line, should i be nice and say "oh thats ok" or should i put my foot down and demand things get done? Totally different way of doing things here, the midwestern smile doesnt get you very far. But neither does attitude. Well, actually NOTHING gets you far b/c they dont know what planning is.
Seriously.
Had she told me this an hour earlier, I would have had a turkish friend come meet us. Had she even told me 15 mins earlier, I would have had one of the students I was just teaching take us. Had they honored their plans, Mary and I would have our tax id's.
There were about 3 other things that happened in this time too, that would take to long to write. Bottom line. Think, Plan. COMMUNICATE.
I think its very frustrating coming from a background where I studied communication. I think about all the little things that used to bother me in teh workplace before and suddenly they seem so trivial. I honestly think its the education system. They arent talk to think "what if" Its a concept that I stuggle with in class. "Pretend this " My students stare at me blankly, "but teacher thats not true?" Think ahead. Oh we have one box of paper left. maybe I should order more. not wait until the paper has been gone for 3 days then order some.
I like Turkey, I do. English Time is a joke. I will have learned from it, that is for sure. I was talking with Mary as we walked. I'm pretty sure many people would stay in Turkey if they had a different job. Honestly i think many people would stay at English time if iwas run by a foreigner. Things seem to be falling apart from my understanding. Its hard to draw the line, should i be nice and say "oh thats ok" or should i put my foot down and demand things get done? Totally different way of doing things here, the midwestern smile doesnt get you very far. But neither does attitude. Well, actually NOTHING gets you far b/c they dont know what planning is.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
baby steps
I came to Starbucks this morning to work on my Turkish. First I was looking at my notebook and thinking, hm that isnt my handwriting, and I realized that I had left it on the kitchen table and one of my roommates had corrected it for me. At first i was taken aback thinking, woah now they know how many errors I make, then i realized how nice it was of them to do that. I have so many good resources at my disposal that I have not taken advantage of. I started working through Mike's language book when I finally had an ah-ha moment. It was all making sense. I could actually understand the book and the questions, then there were finally some pages that didnt have the answers on them, so i starting working on them myself, and i realized that I actually understood it! I'm getting somewhere with my turkish.
Last night my new level one students invited me out to live music after class. I invited Brandon to come with, which was kind of my english security, since they were level one's. the night was actually really fun. I asked them to practice turkish with me, and they did, they taught me new things and one of the girls kept asking me to translate to brandon since he doesnt know anything. I was impressed when i could get the general message across. Then some funny things happened. We were sitting and the guitarist was going on break, the two girls we were with yelled to the waiter to put on american music since there were americans here. Brandon and i just looked at each other and were like "are they serious" Sure enough some american top 20's started playing a few minutes later and we just burst out laughing. Then they were having us request songs for the guitarist to play.... first off. music here isnt like music in the USA, probably the only song they would know is hotel california, and we couldnt bear hear that song again, so I wrote down the one Turkish pop star that everyone knows. and what do you know,, he played it! My students got me up dancing which was really fun too. I like nightlife culture here. Its not fun if you arent with turks though. I'm happy that my students are so welcoming, they love that we will come out with them. and for me, it makes the days go by with some excitement.
I think it was in my last post that I mentioned I missed my guitar and playing music, Well, wednesday when i walked in the door after my night class I hear a classical guitar being played, A smile crept upon my face (living with musicians has its benefit- bettina just brought her classical guitar from Germany) I walk farther in and Bulent is playing. I came out and sat with them, and he was asking for requests and for us to sing. Then they passed it to me, and forced me to play, I was veryyyyy bad since i hadnt played in a while but it was nice, and a very good atmosphere to play in. Then while bettina was playing I had told her that I was really happy to play, since i had been missing it.SHe was liek why didnt you say anything!! bulent walks out iwth an acoustic guitar and said, here i'm going to find new strings for this and you can play whenever you want! It hasnt acutally happened but the fact that htey are trying makes me so happy. I have stumbled upon great roommates,and a great situation here in Turkey. That just goes to show that God is watching out for me. I hear about other peoples experiences and am thankful for what i have, No matter how homesick i get , or frustrated with school i get, I realize that I am actally learning a lot, and have it pretty good here.
Last night my new level one students invited me out to live music after class. I invited Brandon to come with, which was kind of my english security, since they were level one's. the night was actually really fun. I asked them to practice turkish with me, and they did, they taught me new things and one of the girls kept asking me to translate to brandon since he doesnt know anything. I was impressed when i could get the general message across. Then some funny things happened. We were sitting and the guitarist was going on break, the two girls we were with yelled to the waiter to put on american music since there were americans here. Brandon and i just looked at each other and were like "are they serious" Sure enough some american top 20's started playing a few minutes later and we just burst out laughing. Then they were having us request songs for the guitarist to play.... first off. music here isnt like music in the USA, probably the only song they would know is hotel california, and we couldnt bear hear that song again, so I wrote down the one Turkish pop star that everyone knows. and what do you know,, he played it! My students got me up dancing which was really fun too. I like nightlife culture here. Its not fun if you arent with turks though. I'm happy that my students are so welcoming, they love that we will come out with them. and for me, it makes the days go by with some excitement.
I think it was in my last post that I mentioned I missed my guitar and playing music, Well, wednesday when i walked in the door after my night class I hear a classical guitar being played, A smile crept upon my face (living with musicians has its benefit- bettina just brought her classical guitar from Germany) I walk farther in and Bulent is playing. I came out and sat with them, and he was asking for requests and for us to sing. Then they passed it to me, and forced me to play, I was veryyyyy bad since i hadnt played in a while but it was nice, and a very good atmosphere to play in. Then while bettina was playing I had told her that I was really happy to play, since i had been missing it.SHe was liek why didnt you say anything!! bulent walks out iwth an acoustic guitar and said, here i'm going to find new strings for this and you can play whenever you want! It hasnt acutally happened but the fact that htey are trying makes me so happy. I have stumbled upon great roommates,and a great situation here in Turkey. That just goes to show that God is watching out for me. I hear about other peoples experiences and am thankful for what i have, No matter how homesick i get , or frustrated with school i get, I realize that I am actally learning a lot, and have it pretty good here.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Call to Prayer
In Turkey there is a call to prayer 5 times a day. This is for the practicing muslimes to go to the mosque to pray. As annoying as the loudspeakers are I wondered: what if Christians had a call to prayer, Would we pray more often? I know I can admit where my prayer life is small if not non existent, but now I have started thinking about it, What if something reminded me to pray 5 times a day, what if something reminded me to pray once a day. Would religon be easier? Would I be more concrete in my faith. As much as I disagree with the Muslim religion I am finding more respect for it. They still uphold traditions and values. I was sitting with some friend the other day when they heard the call to prayer and they made some comment about what not to do out of respect, They may not be going to prayer but they still acklowdeged its meaning and were going to uphold its significance.
I have started the book that Bekah and Amy sent me. Its called "Black like me" Where in the late 50s early 60s a man turned himself black to see how he would be treated in the deep south. This has gotten me thinking, not only about racism in the US but racism and sexism in Turkey. Diversity is something I was brought up around, the color of someones skin doesnt even faze me. I forget its still such a big issue since to me, it doesnt matter, i love and accept everyone. I have had the chance to experience many cultures and can see the good in everyone. Here though, i'm trying to put my finger on what makes me special. I dont think its the American factor.
Daily I get hit on by turkish men. I dont understand why, Yes, i know I'm an amazing woman but there is something else. Why me? Why the draw to White girls with light hair and blue eyes? When I first got here, a friend of mine and I were talkign about this and he said ," well christy, do you find Turkish men attractive? " My answer" yes of course" and hes like why, they are unique and differnt? thats the same with you. For me, i think i've always found dark haired dark complexion more attractive, maybe its the same for them? Doubtful. There is something else going on there, Is it the American stereotype that American girls are easy? Hm they will be sad to know that isnt true. Is it that I maybe their ticket out of the country? or to a new life? Sadly I hope not. What is it? What is the deal with Turkish people wanting to take pictures of me like I was some famous person they met? It was flattering for awhile, but now its annoying and apparently it has been shown in the way i've been interacting with people. What makes turkish people think that they can randomly add me on facebook and I will be overjoyed that they are reaching out to me and talk to them. No why in teh world would i even accept a facebook friendship if I didnt know who they are. Differences. Frustrations.
Oh to get back to the race issue, Like inter-racial relationships in america, would there be some prejudice to bringing home a white girl? or a prize?
I have started the book that Bekah and Amy sent me. Its called "Black like me" Where in the late 50s early 60s a man turned himself black to see how he would be treated in the deep south. This has gotten me thinking, not only about racism in the US but racism and sexism in Turkey. Diversity is something I was brought up around, the color of someones skin doesnt even faze me. I forget its still such a big issue since to me, it doesnt matter, i love and accept everyone. I have had the chance to experience many cultures and can see the good in everyone. Here though, i'm trying to put my finger on what makes me special. I dont think its the American factor.
Daily I get hit on by turkish men. I dont understand why, Yes, i know I'm an amazing woman but there is something else. Why me? Why the draw to White girls with light hair and blue eyes? When I first got here, a friend of mine and I were talkign about this and he said ," well christy, do you find Turkish men attractive? " My answer" yes of course" and hes like why, they are unique and differnt? thats the same with you. For me, i think i've always found dark haired dark complexion more attractive, maybe its the same for them? Doubtful. There is something else going on there, Is it the American stereotype that American girls are easy? Hm they will be sad to know that isnt true. Is it that I maybe their ticket out of the country? or to a new life? Sadly I hope not. What is it? What is the deal with Turkish people wanting to take pictures of me like I was some famous person they met? It was flattering for awhile, but now its annoying and apparently it has been shown in the way i've been interacting with people. What makes turkish people think that they can randomly add me on facebook and I will be overjoyed that they are reaching out to me and talk to them. No why in teh world would i even accept a facebook friendship if I didnt know who they are. Differences. Frustrations.
Oh to get back to the race issue, Like inter-racial relationships in america, would there be some prejudice to bringing home a white girl? or a prize?
Monday, January 10, 2011
New year new goals
I made goals for myself when I came here. I knew something had to change as I wasnt happy where I was. I do think that my goals have been semi- worked at, but also some new things need to happen too.
My old goals were:
- relax, as i always felt stressed out in America, I think i can safely say that I feel relaxed here, my job is not stressful, my life is not overrun by appointments, The only thing that really frustrates me is the fact that none of my mail seems to make it here.
- get to know the culture. I think if you've read this blog at all you know i'm working on that one pretty well.
- Build relationships. This i'm doing and not doing, Relationship boundaries are different here and I'm tryign to figure out how to go about this one. I do love my roommates and they are people i've bonded with, as well as my students, outside of that I am frustarted, I think that basically has to do with a language barrier which i am working on.
- not to be money conscious. This was something that was always ruled my life in America, I wouldnt go do things b/c it cost money, but i foudn things to do for free. Here not the case. I can rarely find ANYTHING to do without paying for it. The most i've found is going for walks, or finding a nice turkish man to take me out and pay for me, which is not something I want to continue.
- Focus on seeing the world,and all the historical things this area has to offer. I went to Cappadoccia, that was a big step, and a major cross of the things to do before I die, but the fact that i work 6 days a week may prevent me from reaching this one to its fullest potential.
- Learn the language- finally i'm moving somewhere on this one. i have a private teacher working on my turkish and I'm happy with where it is going.
Now on to new things, this may or may not be turkish related. I have realized that I need accountability. That was most definitely something I hated growing up which made me get out so far away, but since then I feel like I've had a good group of friends whereever I am to look after me, to ask me the hard questions I need to hear.
HOwever here, I dont have a strong group of friends. People here could care less what i was doing or where I was going, This isnt good for me, Knowing that even my friends back home still care what I'm doing helps and maybe i need to assign some people to question me. NOt that i'm doing anything wrong (mom and dad who i know are reading this) Its just something that I think needs to change in my life so that I can continue to be happy here.
next goal, figuring out what's next. I know I really want to work in an international setting. NO idea what, but I have decided I like knowing that I'm making good money and not worring about dipping into savings. I like that I can go shopping and not freak out about buying a new outfit. I also like dressing up for work. I know last year I loved waking up throwing on clothes no matter if they were clean or dirty and heading out the door. But there is a certian satisfaction that comes with looking presentable. I'm not going to lie I think my time in Italy and carrying over into my time in turkey, i'm finally turning into a "girl" Shocker, I Know. I like fashion, i like shopping, I like looking presentable and I feel better about myself. that is something I'm happy that has changed about me.
I know that I need to be in an intellectual setting, I enjoy listening to knowledable people speak as well as learning to be able to keep in conversation. One thing I enjoy talking about is books, I really appreciated my minneapolis friends who were avid readers, They made sure that I read to, which was always a passion of mine. (kept me accountable eh hm, bekah and amy's attempted book clubs)
Finally, i need to be around music, I like turkish music, i do, but I miss american indie music, I miss my gutair. it was a stress reliever, no matter how crappy I played, it always gave me a sense of peace inside. I liked going to bars and hearing crappy cover bands or even talking to cocky musicians who thought they were the next big thing. (actually no i hated them, but they were a given when it comes to the music scene)
My old goals were:
- relax, as i always felt stressed out in America, I think i can safely say that I feel relaxed here, my job is not stressful, my life is not overrun by appointments, The only thing that really frustrates me is the fact that none of my mail seems to make it here.
- get to know the culture. I think if you've read this blog at all you know i'm working on that one pretty well.
- Build relationships. This i'm doing and not doing, Relationship boundaries are different here and I'm tryign to figure out how to go about this one. I do love my roommates and they are people i've bonded with, as well as my students, outside of that I am frustarted, I think that basically has to do with a language barrier which i am working on.
- not to be money conscious. This was something that was always ruled my life in America, I wouldnt go do things b/c it cost money, but i foudn things to do for free. Here not the case. I can rarely find ANYTHING to do without paying for it. The most i've found is going for walks, or finding a nice turkish man to take me out and pay for me, which is not something I want to continue.
- Focus on seeing the world,and all the historical things this area has to offer. I went to Cappadoccia, that was a big step, and a major cross of the things to do before I die, but the fact that i work 6 days a week may prevent me from reaching this one to its fullest potential.
- Learn the language- finally i'm moving somewhere on this one. i have a private teacher working on my turkish and I'm happy with where it is going.
Now on to new things, this may or may not be turkish related. I have realized that I need accountability. That was most definitely something I hated growing up which made me get out so far away, but since then I feel like I've had a good group of friends whereever I am to look after me, to ask me the hard questions I need to hear.
HOwever here, I dont have a strong group of friends. People here could care less what i was doing or where I was going, This isnt good for me, Knowing that even my friends back home still care what I'm doing helps and maybe i need to assign some people to question me. NOt that i'm doing anything wrong (mom and dad who i know are reading this) Its just something that I think needs to change in my life so that I can continue to be happy here.
next goal, figuring out what's next. I know I really want to work in an international setting. NO idea what, but I have decided I like knowing that I'm making good money and not worring about dipping into savings. I like that I can go shopping and not freak out about buying a new outfit. I also like dressing up for work. I know last year I loved waking up throwing on clothes no matter if they were clean or dirty and heading out the door. But there is a certian satisfaction that comes with looking presentable. I'm not going to lie I think my time in Italy and carrying over into my time in turkey, i'm finally turning into a "girl" Shocker, I Know. I like fashion, i like shopping, I like looking presentable and I feel better about myself. that is something I'm happy that has changed about me.
I know that I need to be in an intellectual setting, I enjoy listening to knowledable people speak as well as learning to be able to keep in conversation. One thing I enjoy talking about is books, I really appreciated my minneapolis friends who were avid readers, They made sure that I read to, which was always a passion of mine. (kept me accountable eh hm, bekah and amy's attempted book clubs)
Finally, i need to be around music, I like turkish music, i do, but I miss american indie music, I miss my gutair. it was a stress reliever, no matter how crappy I played, it always gave me a sense of peace inside. I liked going to bars and hearing crappy cover bands or even talking to cocky musicians who thought they were the next big thing. (actually no i hated them, but they were a given when it comes to the music scene)
Monday, January 3, 2011
two talks
I had two well I guess now that i think of it three really great talks today. My roommate made dinner for me and as we were sitting and talking she talked a lot about religious hatred in Turkey. We talked about the divisions of religion and about the different bombing and acts of hatred that have happened in turkey. It blows me away that people following a religion can hate each other so much. Shouldnt the basis of all religions be peace and love?
Then I went out with some other friend tonight and one of the guys that was there is currently studying in San Fransisco. He was telling me about what he noticed about American culture and sadly its the things that I've been noticing here too. For example, one of the first things we talked about was consumerism. he said he was blown away by the massive shopping centers, the costco's and targets everywhere. What was our need to buy so many things? Why is there so much competition? he also talked about the money on technology we spend IE the Iphone, quite honestly i told him i didnt understand it either, i didnt ahve an iphone but enough people i know had ones, and it is common to trade in your phone to get the next newest one all the time. I thought it was intereting that a few hours prior to this discussion, I had made my post about consumerism and the fact that in turkey its not really existent.
Then finally we talked about racism. He obviously looks like he is middle eastern and told me about hte comments people made towards him. Ozlem (my roommate) and i were talking about this earlier too. You look middle easten, yes, most likely you are muslim, but does that make you a terrorist ? NO. Ozlem asked me what i thought about muslims esp after 9/11 she was really heartfelt about what happened but in both of their responses, how can we hold every middle eastern looking person accountable. The guy i talked with tonight told me about the racist comments that were made towards him in San Fran. I was frustrated with my culture. I am frustrated that we hate everyone. There is sooooooo much racism still prevelent in our society. The blacks, the whites, the asians, the somalians, the mexicans. Why cant we look past that. For a country that has so many great minds, why must we have so many close minded people? It frustrates me to think about that. It frustrates me that i recieved comments like "why dont you teach people here how to speak english?" (when i was in america). Why do we have to be one of hte most intolerant places I have traveled to. I go out with people who try really hard to speak in English aroundme. WHy? Its thier country, i should be speaking Turkish. No they try super hard to accomodate me. BUt yet in american I hear very racist comments when someone is speaking Spanish or is even mispronouncing a word. When i go back to the US i think that will be something I really struggle with.
Then I went out with some other friend tonight and one of the guys that was there is currently studying in San Fransisco. He was telling me about what he noticed about American culture and sadly its the things that I've been noticing here too. For example, one of the first things we talked about was consumerism. he said he was blown away by the massive shopping centers, the costco's and targets everywhere. What was our need to buy so many things? Why is there so much competition? he also talked about the money on technology we spend IE the Iphone, quite honestly i told him i didnt understand it either, i didnt ahve an iphone but enough people i know had ones, and it is common to trade in your phone to get the next newest one all the time. I thought it was intereting that a few hours prior to this discussion, I had made my post about consumerism and the fact that in turkey its not really existent.
Then finally we talked about racism. He obviously looks like he is middle eastern and told me about hte comments people made towards him. Ozlem (my roommate) and i were talking about this earlier too. You look middle easten, yes, most likely you are muslim, but does that make you a terrorist ? NO. Ozlem asked me what i thought about muslims esp after 9/11 she was really heartfelt about what happened but in both of their responses, how can we hold every middle eastern looking person accountable. The guy i talked with tonight told me about the racist comments that were made towards him in San Fran. I was frustrated with my culture. I am frustrated that we hate everyone. There is sooooooo much racism still prevelent in our society. The blacks, the whites, the asians, the somalians, the mexicans. Why cant we look past that. For a country that has so many great minds, why must we have so many close minded people? It frustrates me to think about that. It frustrates me that i recieved comments like "why dont you teach people here how to speak english?" (when i was in america). Why do we have to be one of hte most intolerant places I have traveled to. I go out with people who try really hard to speak in English aroundme. WHy? Its thier country, i should be speaking Turkish. No they try super hard to accomodate me. BUt yet in american I hear very racist comments when someone is speaking Spanish or is even mispronouncing a word. When i go back to the US i think that will be something I really struggle with.
little to no
After a few visits to turkish friends houses and a talk with my turkish teacher today I realized one thing: Turkish people dont really have much. I was at my friends house, who are university students. I was looking around their apartment and there is nothing in it. The Tv was really old and had rabbit ears, when we were watching tv every station was really fuzzy. Like barely be albe to see the picture fuzzy and that was just normal for them. There house wasnt full of decorations or knick nacks. What is our fetish with knick knacks? I honestly believethat the amount of belongings I have here in turkey may surpass that which they own. That was hard for me to wrap my head around. all the things that I find so necessary to not live without, they probably dont own. The little treasures that I hold onto, dont exixt in these turkish households.
After my Turkish lesson I asked my teacher how his new job was going. He made teh comment that he works way less than at English time and make more money, He was like well only 100 more but much less money. I make 1,100 a month. ! He was working 45 + hours at english time making only 1000. He said it was about 4 lira an hour. THis was normal for Turkish people. THey are all salaried then expected to work a lot more. He pointed to the workers at the restaurant where were sitting and said they made even less. I thought about it. That was about my salary in Americorps, but we had a lot of perks, we didnt have families to raise, we knew that we just had to make it a year. This is life here. He said most people, unless they were engineers or doctors, would only make that much for thier life. That is probably why so many of hte people i talk to are engineer students. It is one of the few professions that makes money.
Obviously this is probably why Turkish houses dont havea lot, they never had a lot. their families didnt make money to randomly spend it so therefore they know they dont need it either. Makes me think about materialism around me. Also makes me think about the tourism industry and what they may think about those people buying loads of random things. Interesting.
After my Turkish lesson I asked my teacher how his new job was going. He made teh comment that he works way less than at English time and make more money, He was like well only 100 more but much less money. I make 1,100 a month. ! He was working 45 + hours at english time making only 1000. He said it was about 4 lira an hour. THis was normal for Turkish people. THey are all salaried then expected to work a lot more. He pointed to the workers at the restaurant where were sitting and said they made even less. I thought about it. That was about my salary in Americorps, but we had a lot of perks, we didnt have families to raise, we knew that we just had to make it a year. This is life here. He said most people, unless they were engineers or doctors, would only make that much for thier life. That is probably why so many of hte people i talk to are engineer students. It is one of the few professions that makes money.
Obviously this is probably why Turkish houses dont havea lot, they never had a lot. their families didnt make money to randomly spend it so therefore they know they dont need it either. Makes me think about materialism around me. Also makes me think about the tourism industry and what they may think about those people buying loads of random things. Interesting.
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