Outside city walls

I remember seeing the difference in lifestyles when I went to Cappadocia, I finally realized that Turkey is a poor country. As many people were telling me, Turkey doesnt want to admit it but, they are a 3rd world country. There are a few pictures i didnt post but of the ones i did, that was life there. Everything was rock and crumbling. Its a tourist destination, all i saw were hotels, yes the hotels were nice but what about the other people living there. Everythign was broken. there was rebar sticking out everywhere, it looked likea big construction site minus the fancy tools.

Houses with broken windows, I assume they are abandoned. Houses without roofs, i hope they are abandoned. Life with very little amenities. Do they hate that tourists are coming through on a daily basis snapping photos and riding in fancy coach buses? They love to take advantage of us. We are making their living, but does it bother them? I think it would bother me. It bothered me being a tourist in that situation.

I realized that a lot of villages were like this. When i ask my students where they are from they always tell me some small village. When talking to my roommate last night she was telling me that where you are from in Turkey is a big deal here. It is probably the second question you ask someone when you meet them.
I asked why? was there different ways of treating people when you tell them where you are from? She said many times yes, cause they have different values in each area.
I then wondered how my students came to Istanbul, or big city life. I know most of them are pretty well of, as English Time is known for its expensive tuition.

I think of all the modern day conveniences, we americans, take for granted. I am doing laundry right now, and one thing i really miss are american washing machines, complete with DRYERS! My clothes comign out nice and soft. The way things just work in America, but then I also love that people arent frustrated when teh electricity goes out. that is just common, or when the water isnt working for a while. thats just common. In America people would be yelling and complaining instead of just dealing with it. I guess i've just learned to deal with the fact that things might not work out, and so I'm able to be happy.

A Historical Realization

I just got back from Cappadoccia. What a crazy place. First off, taking over night buses is not comfortable. I should think about sucking it up and flying.

The first day of my tour was interesting but the second day was when I was really blown away. The underground city was ridiculous. It amazed me what Early Christians went through, first off to carve out 8 floors of stone, multiple rooms and being able to survive there. The time and man power it must have taken to build those cities is ridiculous. They said there would be thousands of people who lived in these cities too. They could only cook once a every few days and only at night for fear of enemies looking for them. THey would hid underground for days, not in luxury but on rocks. The first thing that came to mind during this was the Flinstones. No joke everything was rock. It amazed me that people would actually find them, as it felt like we were out in the middle of nowhere. Beyond that, there were 36 underground cities found in Cappadocia. Understanding a bit more what early Christians went through was very interesting. I think i have hardships when people make comments to me about Christianity, but i dont have to hid my faith. Even living in a predominantly Muslim country, They dont really bother me about it, I also respect them enough to not go around boasting my religious views.

I find it intersting that a country with so much Christian history has little to few actual Christians in it. How did it completely turn around? How did the Muslim religion over take this area. I would really like to know the connection between the two religions and their areas. I have already started wikipedia-ing the historical questions i had.

Traveling alone wasnt bad. I met lots of people on my tour, but I like traveling with my friends. You can find silly things to laugh about, and the down time goes by a lot faster. I'll make due.

I know there was a lot more I was going to comment on, but I cant think, I'm still quite tired, so i'll probably post again later.

Needing a little American

Well my second class if finished. One of the girls was about to cry as she left. That was cute. This class had an interesting dynamic. I got to know their personal lives pretty well, which was always interesting.

I think the most entertaining part of today was when one girl walks in late, and we were just discussing random things. She interrupts and says "christy! ray (her american dance teacher she is in love with - who has also been hitting on her) is married! He has a wife and two children in America! HE IS MARRIED! TWO CHILDREN!" My response was a bit of a chuckle and said "well what did I tell you about American guys, no good. They are very much liars, I'm sorry." What an American guy move, She was like " he doesnt wear a ring. and friend of mine found out and told me" Poor girl.

We ate food and watched "Despicable me" which is actually a really good movie! One of my fellow teachers put a bunch of movies on my harddrive. that will be nice for the holidays. On my walk home I got really sad. I have not been really homesick since I left. OF course i have days where i want to be home, but never homesick like I was fighting back tears. I am no sitting in Starbucks in attempt to get work done. I dont want to be annoyed by those cats at home, and I have a bunch of hours to kill until church tonight. Note to self. Dont be away from family next Christmas.

cats

I was fine not having pets when i grew up. I liked animals like i liked children. they were fun for awhile but it was nice to give them back to their parents. Currently I am cat sitting for the two kittens that live downstairs, since i'm teh one who is here for Christmas. Two kittens, cute. but annoying. I come home for my few hour break, I sit at the table (the only place i have a spot to sit) and I'm attacked by kittens. they wont leave me alone. They are clawing at my shirt. I try to give them attention but I also had work to do, plus one of them smells. They are quite annoying I must say.

Today I finished my first class, they were an intense class, I started with them,after they kicked out the first teacher. I had my good nights and bad nights with them, but overall a great class. One of the girls made cake and brought it tonight, then I practiced with them for the test. After I said my goodbyes, i went to the teachers room to finish my paperwork, one of the turkish teachers called to me and said i had students looking for me. I went out and there were three of my students waiting for me to go out for a beer. Fun guys. we sat and practiced both languages. These were three of my favorite students. Very hard workers, not neccesarily the best ones, but entertaining. Two of them were the ones who always came to class drunk. They asked me lots of questions about my life in America. They were comparing prices of things,, and my favorite line was this " Christy, what kind of car did you have. what did you pay.. this is what it is in turkish, very expensive." Student" yeah cars very expensive so thats why i have a horse." (horse in turkey is like having a horse in chicago=ridiculous)I realized that he wasnt being sarcastic, because that had come up in class a few times. He was a very entertaining quite student. After our beer then insisted they take me to starbucks. I insisted they were crazy and that I wouldnt sleep tonight. So here i am one the morning blogging because I had starbucks. Note to the Americans, turks dont know the word No. We got our coffee to go, and started walking. At this time it was two male studnets and me, and they insisted to walk me to my door b/c it was midnight and I shouldnt walk alone. What great guys. During the last two classes, the differences between American men and Turkish men have come up. I have noticed a complete opposite. In turkey where i feel a lot safter a guy wont let me walk home alone. In america where the liklihood of me getting mugged is higher, a guy will easily let me walk home after my persistence.

The other week i went out to dinner with 8 of my turkish female students and my American friend Russ, The girls insisted on paying and when russ got up to go to the bathroom the girls freaked out. They told me that Turkish guys always pay and they were worried that russ would do that also ( Russ and i snickered as we both knew neither of us had the money to pick up a 10 person tab) i think its interesting how this culture still accepts teh fact that men take care of the women. When I was in cambridge i remember having a discussion with Bennas housemates about dates and weather a guy should pay. I remember feeling very old fashiioned when I insisted that a man should pay for a date. I hate that in America, there is that awkwardness, yes the girl offeres to pay or to split but the male is a MAN and pays. I guess our feminist friends have changed our luck.

I got a lot of warnings when I was looking to come here. "Christy they dont treat women the same there" Yes, there are many times where I am frustrated about the role of women, but many times its refreshing to know that I am treated like a "woman" I dont have to be good at sports, I dont have to be competitive to get a males approval. It is ok to be feminine, I am still respected. Not " woman make me a sandwich" but i will make you a sandwich because I would like to serve you.

I'm not sure if any of this makes sense, it is late for me, and I've had lots caffinee/sugar. However, my original post was going to be this: class one finished, i did it. Life is good. I am still trying to figure out my life after English time

no show

Well I had two private lessons scheduled today and 0 percent happened. Communication is one issue that really bugs me here! My ING Bank one, told me that he got an email from my office saying it was cancelled, funny they couldnt push "forward" to me so I didnt make the hour commute to wait half an hour and come back home.

While I was sitting there, I made lots of plans and goals for myself. I thought a lot about life after Turkey, Sometimes i wonder if there is going to be life after turkey or just continued life in Turkey, but over all, i think i'm pretty sure my future plans are based away from here. I started looking at what goals I have for my life. What I want out of a job and how I can attain those. I really want to pursue my languages so I'm going to make a concious effort to study A LOT! I was asking my roommate some Turkish questions and she got me interested in a language school that would probably work with my ridiculous schedule. I am also trying to keep up on my italian. I'm thinking about spenind my week and a half holiday there so i can further my language skills and be more appealing to international businesses. Fluency in three languages would be my goal, one that I'm going to work hard on. that means I need everyone who reads this blog to hold me accountable.

After all that life planning and thinking, I came home. Two of my roommates where here when I arrived and one asked me about what we were going to do for christmas, we are the only two goin to be here, and I started to think she meant turkish christmas "new years eve" But she said christy, Friday and saturday what do you want to do? Eat here go out? Go out for a christmas dinner and then go out? She said she would find something festive for us to do. that made me really excited, I said as long as I wasnt by myself I would be happy. You cant really recreate Christmas here, because it wont be the same as it was with my family at home. Its time to make the most of what I have and to celebrate Jesus's birth. I told her my only plan was to go to church and i would do anything afterwards. It made me excited as I was beginning to think i would have a really lonely Christmas.

Welp I am off to study! Starting my new year resolutions early:)iyi geceler(turkish goodnight) buona notte(italiano)

rain rain go away

I dont mind the occasional rainy day,but when its been a solid week of rain, it starts to get annoying. As I was walking home today, dodging the massive amounts of umbrellas that walked by, I was thinking what I would rather have: a million of umbrellas or frigid temperatures? I think I actually would go for frigid temperatures. I just dont like carrying umbrellas. I hate my feet being wet all the time. However I do love getting out of bed and not rushing to put on as many layers of clothes as possible. There is always the pros and cons.

Yesterday I was feeling a bit homesick. I had a crappy morning class, listened to some people complaining about life then went home by myself. Altoghter a very bad mixture. I remember walking to work that night counting in my head how much time I have left here, I also was hoping that something in my night class would cheer me up. It seems that everytime I get a little sad or frustrated something turns it around pretty fast. Sure enough I had an awesome class. I was in a very giggly christy mood, and totally fed off my class. Altogether we had a great class. Once again, God was watching over me, and provided.

During one of our breaks today, Brandon and I were chatting when we heard two teachers arguing about something to do with English Time, Brandon and I were talkign about what if we just up and quit. It sounded fine to me, but then I kinda of panicked? What would I do? Yes go back to America as easily as one $50 plane change. But what would I do in the States? Now that freaked me out. absolutely nothing about that plan sounded good (of course- except the fact I would be with my family and friends) My mind was quickly calculating how much money I had, and how much that would last me. I decided that whole fake quitting idea was not worth it. Although I am pretty sure the teachers are getting really fed up with some of the drama going on at our school. I do believe this time it was about some people not getting paid the correct amounts. Luckily for my first full months paycheck, I did get paid right. Oh the joys of working in a foreign country.

On a fun note. My morning class was in a bummed out mood because they didnt do so hot their writing exams. The fourth hour I knew i had to do something to cheer them up. I got one of the guys to belly dance for us. Keep watch on facebook as luckily today I had my camera on me! I was sure to document that moment really fast:)

A friend in the time of need

I like being in Turkey, but it was starting to get lonely. I was starting to get into a rut of going home and staying home after my classes. I noticed why the teachers hang out only with other ex-pats. some turks just cant be trusted. I'm learning that, On saturday night i figured I was going to spend another night reading by myself when my phone rang. it was my roommate telling me to come meet her at some restaurant. Even though i was already in my pajamas I knew i needed to get out and go. I quickly dressed and met up with them. It ended up being a great night. I hear some good music then one of her friends invited me out dancing, which was really fun too. I got to meet a whole new group of people, and they were friends with my roommate which made them all very trustworthy. That was nice. The next day I went to church, it was the Christmas carol service. A girl sat next to me, and I eventually started talking to her, as i havent given up on meeting new people at church yet. She was asking why I didnt come to a few events and I explained they were all during my odd teaching hours. She took me to the Chruch lunch where I met a lot of other people. Her act of kindness really helped also. Finally that night, I went out after work with some of the teachers and one of them asked about my days off, and we realized we had the same ones. She asked if we could hang out on those days cause she doesnt do much otherwise. I said definitely and she actually called me the next day to do something. Wow. three things in a row that didnt fall through :) Yay, its nice to have that during the holidays when it sucks not being in America.

clear headed

Ok I think I am a little more clear headed for this post. Yesterday was a very thought provoking day but when i started typing, i also started a chat with a friend I had planned to talk with so I couldnt give my thoughts their full attention.

In all reality when have you ever known me not to jump from topic to topic though. Ok first thing. Nationalities. When I was walking around yesterday I realized, that no matter what I want/ I will never be anything but American. I will never be "turkish" I dont look it, I dont act it, I cant fathom ever fitting in becuase thier first assuption of me is that I'm white, light haired, so I must be a foreigner. Sadly there are plenty of people who looke like me, so i wonder if they go through the same thing, even though they are turkish.

I wondered if that was a struggle people had in the USA. We are a very diverse country but do they sometimes feel like they don't look the American part?
I think even holding an American passport puts us aside from the rest. We have priviledge ( i know i spelled that horribly but i'm too lazy to look it up.) I forget how lucky I am to be an American. i've never had much national pride, but there are days where I am thankful. For instance, i have the passport to the world by being a native English speaker. People would kill to be that lucky. I can virtually go ANYWHERE and find work. I dont need any training. just the fact that I speak it. Crazy. Think for example if the world started speaking all Arabic. Your favorite TV shows were in Arabic, you had to watch them via subtitles. ALl the movies were produced in the middle east. All the celebrities you heard about, didnt speak your language, and though down upon you if you werent fluent in Arabic.

America does this to immigrants. They are trying to learn teh language, but you yell at them when stumble through thier sentences. Some say " go back to your home land" However, i have lived in both Italy and Turkey now, and yes i do attempt their language but they dont yell at me, or make comments about me when I screw up. they are actually impressed that I'm trying. I'm trying to fit in. Why cant we have a little more tolerance in the USA. English is NOT easy. As i sit here trying to figure out our grammar stuctures I am in awe when my students memorize things so quickly. We have hundreds of irregulars, in turkish there are 3, yet I'm still struggling with those three.

On a lighter note. I found a great Christmas radio station to stream! I'm going to try to have it on non-stop to get me in the mood. its hard to celebrate when you are sweating! My students said there is a chance of snow this weekend. I was really excited, and they were the complete opposite. I also am going to start some backing and share the christmas joy with my lovely students :)

FDA got nothing on me

What a day of cultural thought. First, I met Brandon and we went to the Grand Bazaar to so some bargaining. We were both looking at Tavla boards (backgammon) and kind of wanted ones to play, not for touristic purposes. Obviously we werent going to spent a lot of money on them. One guy was arguingwith us and finally was like what is your lowest price? I said 30 apeice for two really small boards (very over priced even at 30) and he was like "so not 5 more, and i said no. he goes "what is this a game for you, dont you care that we need to make money?" Brandon and i looked at each other confused and walked out. Most shop owners love talking to us, and we wouldbe pretty nice and talk to some of them back, and most importantly we are inclined to buy from you if you dont pressure us, bad sales tactics man. It did get me thinking about that though. I do know that Turkey is really poor, these shop owners dont sell a lot, and its defintely not tourist season. Whats thier life like? I like supporting their economy but then i think, hm would they buy things in the US? No, they wont even go to the US. so why are you hating me for not spending what little money i have on you?

The whole poverty issue is interesting here, More on that in a later post.
When i was at home later, i was very much looking forward to my return tothe states. I tried so very hard to change my plane ticket. and my chat sessions with STA just didnt go through. On my way to work i realized that a lot of days i miss being home, but something about teachign always changes that. And yes once again, my class tonight made me realize why I love teaching in Turkey.

My students love me. That makes me feel good, but i also wonder if its cause of my personality or if I'm actually teaching them well. I love the attention though. I need it. I need the affirmation that I'm appreciated, and here I get it.

I was missing Christmas activities and was thinking about cookies i could make. when i got home from work, my roomate told me she bought something today. itwas cookie cutters!
I was so excited so we started talking about what we were going to make, and holiday celebrations. This discussion turned into a cultural discussion and i realized how lucky I am to be American. there are many times that i wonder what it would be like to have european passport, and now what if i was a turkish citizen. Life kind of sucks. they arent allowed anywhere. I couldnt figure out why and she is very knowledable. which is very useful. Ok I'm realizing i'm not making any sense and I have a lot I want to add, so I will continue in the morning.
iyi geceler. (goodnight)


I realized i never got to the reason for the title of my post. Food poisoning? What? I'm still trying to get used to not refridgerating things, keeping food out for days. however, its very convenient. Who knew you wouldnt die if you ate food that had been sitting on the stover for a few hours. (in some cases longer)

as simple as hello

Monday, the one day where I am suppose to not make an apperance at english time was not going to happen. The teacher that I split morning classes with had a meeting and instead of throwing in a new teacher right before the exam I said i would switch with her. I woke up thinking, dang this is my day off. I should have no alarm clock instead I shrug it off and get out of bed. Once i got ready, I was drinking my morning coffee and had two conversations with great friends from the Minneapolis. First i realized that maybe i should start all mondays off like that because they put me in a great mood, but i also realized that probably many days when I'm waking up is a good time to talk to friends. I signed off and headed to class with a great big smile on my face. today was going to be a good day. Talking to friends, didnt put me in a "I miss home slump" but a I'm excited for my day mood!

I do my preparations and was about to run an errund when one of my students saw me. his face lit up and said "christy! what are you doing here!" I said one minute and i'll explain. Ihead upstairs and one minute later when i'm walking back he had called the whole class out of the room and were all standing there excited to see me! i told them it was true i was teaching today, they were happy, and even more excited when i told them it was goign to be their class.

Needless to say, class went well. I like teaching. I like being here. The other night my roommate was asking me about my plans when my contract ends. She asked if I would continue teaching. This conversation started because iw as telling her that this was what happened in class:
student: christy when are you going back to America?
me: in june:
Student: Do you have boy friend?
Me : nope.
Student: you should find turkish boyfriend. would you take him to chicago with you?
Me. I dont know.
Student: OR... you can stay here forever! i think you should stay here forever, teacher.

I was telling my roommate that I love teaching... here. I dont think I could go back to the states and teach. I like esl taeching, but its different because i'm learning something new. I'm experiencing a new culture. It would be different to just hear about cultural differences in the classroom. Next tough question, well then what are you going to do? i told her I had no idea, I am content with my life. Yes i do miss America and the people there, but I also left for a reason. i told her that I really hope and pray that it becomes clear to me by June/July, what I'm here to do. I would love to know what I want to do when I get back to the states, right now, no job sounds appealing. Tough questions. All hopefully to be worked out in the next 7 months. Afterall, that was one of my goals: to learn about myself.

dont judge too soon

This week I was dreading my morning class. I dont know what it is about them, I just never felt any energy. I tried really hard to make class interesting and make sure they were learning. I just didnt have anything to feed off of. when they didnt understand something they were known for throwing little tantrums. This being my "monday morning" I was not excited to see them. This wednesday however, I walked in and they were very bubbly. "Christy!!!!!! hi how are you," They were still quiet in class but the fact that they were actually excited to see me was a little bit better. Then by Friday we spent a lot of the class time talking as many people were absent. They were awesome, they want to take me to some museum next week. then finally they were like "Christy, we go to starbucks for 4th hour? " Its friday, i said if we got everyone to agree then yes. Obviously there was no arguement. they even blocked the office windows so they wouldnt know what teacher was leaving. They all went to starbuck and chatted in English. Well attempted to talk in English. I actually think it was a more productive class. I think caffinee helps too. This just shows how much my days turn around here. I can be dreading something one day then absolutely loving it the next.

As for my night class. A few came in drunk on thursday. Luckily we were talking about past tense as they walked in, so after i made one walk a straight line and touch his nose, I had them tell me about their drinking experience. Where they drank what they drank, how many. They brought me a drink mixer stick as a souvenier, Which was a lady so we named her and wrote sentences about her. Overall, pretty entertaining class.

I'm starting to get used to things not going right. First off, our school NEVER has the proper materials. The printer is broke, the copier is broke. There is no paper. Most recently... Me, Where are my reading exams for today? Oh there is no paper, I'll see if i can have someone run and make copies.. Oh sorry the other school didnt have paper either. Can you give it tomorrow? Well, my students are just going to leave if they find out there is no test. "but your students cant leave." I know, but they will when there is NO test. "Oh ok maybe we will go buy paper and print it for you, we will ahve it 2nd hour."
Seriously. This is what we deal with. Sometimes i miss americas actually getting things done philosophy.

And on top of that. The power cord that i had to buy for my computer fried. So i rigged my old one to work. Geez HP! get it right. I even had an eurpean plug! but my american one works. Doesnt make sense