Budapest was good. It’s a pretty cool city. I spent a lot of time here and found new things to do everyday. Since I’m at the end of my journey I’m semi disinterested. All I can think about is the uncertainty of my future and it depresses me a little bit. I can’t believe its been almost a year. I want to go home. I want to figure out what is going on next. I cant help to think about the friends that will disappear if I don’t go back to Istanbul. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? We they the conditional friends? Those who love me/ appreciate me because I’m there and can entertain, can listen, can be the person to pass time with.
Now I worry about going home. Will my friends and family be different? I know this year has changed me, have they changed too? Will I be able to pick things up as I left them? All these things scare me as I approach my final destination. I think its kind of cool that I’m making a final pit stop in Italy, I think as I wander the streets of Rome for one day, I can reminisce my arrival. The jetlagged stumble into Florence. Meeting my roommates, going out for our first of many Italian dinners together and getting to know one another. Finding out why each person decided to make this change in their life. Each of us came for really different reasons, we came from very different backgrounds, however we all had one thing in common, We needed something new. The majority of us found out we were running from something. I cant help, these last few days, to think about what it was that I was running from when I came here. I cant quite put my finger on it, but I wasn’t happy, I needed out. Am I ready to go back to whatever I was tired/afraid of? In a few days I think I will find out. I sure hope there are some answers waiting for me in the near future as well.
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