I have really enjoyed teaching higher levels lately because we can have some really interesting discussions. My favorite is my morning class on the weekends (yeah I'm really lucky to have a good class when you have to work saturday and sunday morning!). I try to do about 1.5 to 2 hours of speaking or speaking related activities in our 4 hour class. At this level thats what they need most. It was the last hour of my saturday class, and I asked one of the teachers to give me a topic to talk about. One said to talk about lying and a world without lies, why we lie, who we lie to etc.
Part way through my conversation i realized we talked about this a little last week so I had better switch it around. And somehow we got to telling lies to loved ones, which then led to what is love. Wow, that was a shocking conversation. Basically what it came to was "christy, there are two types of girls. Ones that we can marry and ones for entertainment." I asked if they had both at the same time. Many responded yes, some responded, no b/c of our religion.
I also asked, could you marry someone you werent attracted too. One said, "well yes, if you are married to someone, its very important that your personalities match, not so much physical attraction. But I couldnt date someone who i wasnt attracted to, you date the attractive ones." Now I was confused and getting excited cause i knew i had a good topic brewing. Many started arguing this point but mostly all came to the same conclusion. So then I asked. Why do you date? Whats the point. "we are bored, we want something to do." Doesnt it lead to marriage? "No, christy, maybe sometimes, if you are dating for many years, then you get married, you just decide, ok we will get married" I had one boy tell me, that he doesnt believe in love becasue girls always change their mind after two weeks. I said TWO WEEKS... that isnt love. Yes christy is it, he says. They just decided they dont want to date you anymore. There cant be anything as real true love, now at this time many other students were chiming in.. and basically stating that if you date someone you are in love. He said everyone eventually breaks up, now that one surprised me as this was coming from a pretty muslim viewed student. Really? cause I dont hear about the divorce rate among muslims to be pretty high. I even asked the lawyers that were in the class to confirm this for me. Then he asks me do you know anyone in love. I said yes. He says" oh thats not love. they'll just break up sometime" I smiled and said, well I dont think so, because i think they have a different kind of love then what you are talking about.
I probably have forgotten a few other surprising viewpoints, and probably could have dug deeper but class ended.
Side note, while I was asking the teacher for speaking topics we were talking about how Turks LOVE the tv show "how i met your mother" and "Sparticus" Discussions always comeback to something that happend in how i met your mother, and in that love discussion, when I said "isnt the point of dating to get married?" One girl answered "christy, its like Ted in How i Met your Mother, he is always trying to marry a girl." At that moment I burst out laughing, apologized and told her i was laughing cause we were just talking in the teachers room about that show, and how it comes up in every discussion. then the next day it came up in my discussion again!
The next day we had a discussion about swearing. Despite all the interesting views of the Turks, there is a sacredness of women that I really value. Yes maybe some call it oppression here, but in many respects I really enjoy it. For example, men have a lot better language around women, there are many things they wont say. I asked them why that was, and about 3 boys said "becasue women are beautiful, and they dont need to hear that"
Women dont play sports, yes they exercise, they can play volleyball and tennis, but not other sports. It takes away their feminity I think. One thing I hate is the competition that men give women in America. "you cant do that you are a woman, I'm better than you because I'm a man." They take away our feminity in America because they constantly degrade us.(yes i know a lot of people fight for that equality also...just to recognize the otherside of the issue) I think I was a tom boy growing up because I wanted to be accepted so badly. Up until I left i was always doing things that would probably shock people here because women don't do that. I think my sarcasm was really strong when I was in America, because it helped me be tough, I didn't want to be walked all over, that was a sign of weakness. Weakness is something not tolerated in America. Men call women fat here, and it doesnt bother them. Men don't call women fat in America, yet its going through every womans mind "does he think i'm fat, does she?" We have a problem with self image and self esteem, My students wouldn't believe me when I was explaining those taboo's to them.
Interesting.
I've learned a lot, tomorrow is three months away from the end of my contract, and I think I still have a lot to learn about myself, and who and what I want to be, I do think God broght me here to learn these things so far.
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