tembel

Tembel means lazy in Turish. I feel lazy, I had a really long, really good weekend then despite my complete utter exhaustion last night I still couldnt fall asleep. I think I had too much on my mind. Conversation barriers/ cultural barriers have been bugging me lately.I keep thinking that things I say and do translate differently here, they are what I want them to be or what I think they are to be. I like the culture here, but I still havent figured it out. I can't always help but think that I'm doing someting offensive, or its my turn to do something. I just wish i knew a little bit better how things worked. THere should be a handbook.

My morning class finished. Mary ended with them on a good note. I had two great days with them then had thier test on friday which ended badly in my mind. They all did fairly well, I think i graded their speaking fairly easily. I liked this class b/c they had great personalities but as a teacher it was really stressful. I wished them all the best with the next few levels. I think they will be able to learn better from new teachers.

Kristie came to visit and we had a great weekend. It was nice to have a female companion to talk to. We did very different things everynight. She met all my classes, they loved her. They asked her to come back and teach here. It was nice to sare cultural experiences with her. We talked about how when we first met, we were like "wow, we are different people, i have a feeling this will be a very interesting month" both of us expecting not to be friends but something brought us together. Its probably the name. She had the opportunity to go home for Christmas and was telling me how she is not ready to go back to America. I told her the same thing. i do miss people and some small things in America, but i'm not ready to go back. And from my understanding, there isnt much for me to go back to. Still the majority of my friends are unemployed, they seem semi happy, but mostly confused about life. I remember being there and be really depressed. I dont know if I could do that to myself. But what is my next step. Everything is temporary. I have nothing longterm in my life, well i guess my family. I have realized once again what friends are going to be there for you and what ones are temporary, need you when you can be there for them, friends. Sometimes it surprises me who falls into which category. Knowing that makes it even more difficult to come back to America. I dont where or what to do with myself, I have realized that based on who I surround myself with, I make different decisions and am also englightened in different ways. I am very fortunate to have had a group of friends last year that pushed me to move abroad as much as they didnt want to see me go. They even helped me research and walked me through the process. That was great. When everyone is in that same position its interesting to see their genuine care about seeing me explore and grow. I think that is it for now. I need to practice turkish as I skipped out on half my lesson yesterday due to utter exhaustion.