I made goals for myself when I came here. I knew something had to change as I wasnt happy where I was. I do think that my goals have been semi- worked at, but also some new things need to happen too.
My old goals were:
- relax, as i always felt stressed out in America, I think i can safely say that I feel relaxed here, my job is not stressful, my life is not overrun by appointments, The only thing that really frustrates me is the fact that none of my mail seems to make it here.
- get to know the culture. I think if you've read this blog at all you know i'm working on that one pretty well.
- Build relationships. This i'm doing and not doing, Relationship boundaries are different here and I'm tryign to figure out how to go about this one. I do love my roommates and they are people i've bonded with, as well as my students, outside of that I am frustarted, I think that basically has to do with a language barrier which i am working on.
- not to be money conscious. This was something that was always ruled my life in America, I wouldnt go do things b/c it cost money, but i foudn things to do for free. Here not the case. I can rarely find ANYTHING to do without paying for it. The most i've found is going for walks, or finding a nice turkish man to take me out and pay for me, which is not something I want to continue.
- Focus on seeing the world,and all the historical things this area has to offer. I went to Cappadoccia, that was a big step, and a major cross of the things to do before I die, but the fact that i work 6 days a week may prevent me from reaching this one to its fullest potential.
- Learn the language- finally i'm moving somewhere on this one. i have a private teacher working on my turkish and I'm happy with where it is going.
Now on to new things, this may or may not be turkish related. I have realized that I need accountability. That was most definitely something I hated growing up which made me get out so far away, but since then I feel like I've had a good group of friends whereever I am to look after me, to ask me the hard questions I need to hear.
HOwever here, I dont have a strong group of friends. People here could care less what i was doing or where I was going, This isnt good for me, Knowing that even my friends back home still care what I'm doing helps and maybe i need to assign some people to question me. NOt that i'm doing anything wrong (mom and dad who i know are reading this) Its just something that I think needs to change in my life so that I can continue to be happy here.
next goal, figuring out what's next. I know I really want to work in an international setting. NO idea what, but I have decided I like knowing that I'm making good money and not worring about dipping into savings. I like that I can go shopping and not freak out about buying a new outfit. I also like dressing up for work. I know last year I loved waking up throwing on clothes no matter if they were clean or dirty and heading out the door. But there is a certian satisfaction that comes with looking presentable. I'm not going to lie I think my time in Italy and carrying over into my time in turkey, i'm finally turning into a "girl" Shocker, I Know. I like fashion, i like shopping, I like looking presentable and I feel better about myself. that is something I'm happy that has changed about me.
I know that I need to be in an intellectual setting, I enjoy listening to knowledable people speak as well as learning to be able to keep in conversation. One thing I enjoy talking about is books, I really appreciated my minneapolis friends who were avid readers, They made sure that I read to, which was always a passion of mine. (kept me accountable eh hm, bekah and amy's attempted book clubs)
Finally, i need to be around music, I like turkish music, i do, but I miss american indie music, I miss my gutair. it was a stress reliever, no matter how crappy I played, it always gave me a sense of peace inside. I liked going to bars and hearing crappy cover bands or even talking to cocky musicians who thought they were the next big thing. (actually no i hated them, but they were a given when it comes to the music scene)
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