I've been wanting to make a meaningful post but everytime i sign on, i sit here, stare at a blank page then normally find my mind and my browser changing to facebook or gmail. I have been feeling very brain dead lately, I'm struggling to get myself to read any of the books I have and I dont feel like I'm engaging in any significant conversations.
I have been struggling with the thoughts about what is next in life. I hate that it is already starting to creep up on me. I hate the thought of not knowing. I hate the idea of job searching again. What i hate the most is that I dont think i have any direction of where I want to go. I have no city in mind that I want to narrow my search to, i have no job that i want to narrow my search to. I have no concrete idea of what I want next. I want to say i'll go back to where things left off in Minneapolis, but then in the back of my head all it can think of are the reasons I left, something was missing, Until i find that missing peice i dont know where to make my next plans. I am getting tired of never knowing thought I am finally starting to think I would like to settle someplace and hope for the best. If only I knew that place.
I read Obamas state of the Union Addess. It inspired me, It gave me a bit of pride in my country. That was definitely something that has been missing. I have had trouble thinking about coming back when in reality America has no draw to me except for being with my family and friends.
He made me realize that we have it good. Despite my hatred for part of America, things do get done. We have education. i like education. I like the feeling of learning and people with respect for education. I think that correlates with my deprivation of intelligent conversations here.
Here is an exerpt from the speech:
What's more, we are the first nation to be founded for the sake of an idea — the idea that each of us deserves the chance to shape our own destiny. That's why centuries of pioneers and immigrants have risked everything to come here. It's why our students don't just memorize equations, but answer questions like "What do you think of that idea? What would you change about the world? What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Wow, the one thing I've been complaining about here, the lack of critical thinking. A german friend of Ozlem's was staying here a few weeks ago, he was talking about the brillian mminds of america, in a way i never thought of before. he said it took the most courages and brightest people sail and start all over in a new country, so already we took the great minds and from there, we flourished.
Another excerpt:
One last point about education. Today, there are hundreds of thousands of students excelling in our schools who are not American citizens. Some are the children of undocumented workers, who had nothing to do with the actions of their parents. They grew up as Americans and pledge allegiance to our flag, and yet they live every day with the threat of deportation. Others come here from abroad to study in our colleges and universities. But as soon as they obtain advanced degrees, we send them back home to compete against us. It makes no sense.
I wasnt sure how i felt about this one. I see many faces everyday who would love to come to America not to live but to travel. However, they cant get a visa into our country, and on the other side i was able to get into their country fairly seemlessly. How is that fair. Why am i so lucky?
I do think its frustrating that I have to leave the country in order to find decent employment, and in that respect i totally agree with his points. but How do we make "our great country" accessible to others? I think they have a lot to teach us as well as we have a lot to learn from them. "we educate them to send them home to work against us" is it really against us? Why does it have to be us versus them. I think that with turkey in mind, we can only help them, by properly educating thier society. Why do we have to be selfish? Arent they paying large fees? Shouldnt that be helping our economy? oh obama. thanks for sparking my thoughts again.
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