Well I haven't updated this since I've been back. Since that time there have been many moments of freakouts and break downs that so frustratingly come with new life choices. I pondered about a zillion options for next year and finally came to rest on returning to Turkey. It was a difficult decision and what made it worse was making the rounds telling the people that I love that i was up and moving again. Seeing the hint of disappointment in their eyes was difficult but I knew that this is something that needed to happen.
The scariest part of leaving again is knowing I'm coming back. The feeling of the unknown can be the most rewarding, exciting and scariest feelings one can experience. I love that people say, "oh yeah, you are young you have nothing to lose, go travel go do fun things" but what am I missing out on by staying in one place? Am i missing out on great friendships that are easily attained by being available and in the same area code? Am I missing a career opportunity that is staring me in the face? I dont think so, not yet anyways which is why i'm leaving again. A friend told me that being put in one place could quite honestly be as lonely as traveling to a new place all alone. It's what you make of the situations and what you want to gain from each new life puzzle piece. To me, i think this is very true. Before I left abroad last year, i was lonely, i was no happy where I was despite the fact that I had lots of good friends and activities to attend to. It wasnt correct. Then when I would travel to a place and have no real friends, I, for some reason, didn't feel as alone. I think the adventure of everything kept me going. I hope going back to a semi framiliar place wont put me back in the same situation but will challenge me to continue growing into the person I want to become.
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