One month left. This is incredibly bittersweet. I dont know how I feel about it. I am at my usual pondering/ get work done location: Starbucks, where I ordered in turkish. The guy did a double take and i think almost started laughing because he did not expect me to speak turkish. He understood me clearly, which should have been that hard since i was just ordering coffee, but i also realized how I'm still not taken seriously due to my light colored haird and blue eyes. I also think it has something to do with the fact that i'm probably dressed incredibly american today b/c it is my day off. I also felt a little bit of joy that he didnt ask me to repeat what I said b/e he understood me perfectly, I am starting to be able to have conversations. Its starting to click, with only one month left... I think its a really fun language and really interesting to listen to. I realized that i know most of the grammar but am missing vocabulary, which reading really helps. Good thing my teacher got me some childrens books to work on. That is what I spent the morning doing.
I played frisbee with Mike yesterday and realized how much i miss frisbee, or outside sports. It was fun, summer is good. There are also a lot of things I realized I would miss about turkey, My friends here have asked if I'm worried about entertaining or having my family visit. I said not really, i hope that they will fall in love with this country like I did the first time.
After traveling to the islands with my students last week, i realized that I have done more things in this country than the people who have lived here their entire lives. I understand not doing touristy things as in many of the cities I lived in, i havent gone to the popular locations, but I thought the islands were definitely a "turkish" thing to do. I started to get frustrated with teh fact that when I ask my students "what did you do last night/ weekend" their normal answer is I went to work, i went home, i watched tv. i went to sleep. Was really, in fact, all they did, all they ever do. They have no sense of adventure. Or maybe they do but have no chance to execute that excitement. When we were at the isalnds I started walking on the rocks (really big rocks, not a bit dangerous in my mine) and they FREAKED out. Teacher that is dangerous. WHere is your sense of excitment? A little bit of a thrill here and there. Go out one night without a plan and start walking. You eventually find something to do. I remember in college when I had no idea what to do at night, brittany and I would just start walking, we almost always eventually found something interesting to do, if not we at least got exercise and killed some time. That just doesnt happen here, especially when they think i'm crazy for walking anywhere.
The things they accept here are just ridiculous, but they dont know anything else. I see the value of education, most importantly good education. They know that they were poorly educated and it bugs me. DO something about it!
Mike and i were talking about the lack of determination here, it is something that really bothers us. We both really value determined/ driven people. We also realized that its a cultural thing. We have a lot of opportunities, thus we can be driven because everything is possible for us (except maybe finding a job right now!). They dont necessarily have all the advantages we have. i hate that they talk so badly about my country when I see all the benefits i got from it. Maybe they talk so badly because really they are jealous that they dont have what we have. For this case, i am very sensitive when we talk about that subject. I did tell them the other day that I was jealous that they were learning English and would be fluent in two languages as that is something we take for granted in the US. "oh everyone speaks english so i dont need to learn another language" they will be one step ahead of me, in that they can communicate with more people. They were pretty surprised about that. I am pretty happy i dont have to learn English b/c i think its a pretty difficult language.
Lastly, something else i wanted to touch on. Money. For the first time in my life i'm not worried about spending money, i am not thinking about every penny and how i cant go out with someone b/c i dont have the money. i never really wanted to be the person who had lots of it, but I definitely see the perks to having money. It really does change your experience. When i first came and was very concerned with saving, i didnt go out with the otehr teachers becasue it cost money, and thus lost out on some friendships. I was really lucky in the US to have people in the same financial setting as i was, but now i think about how my experience would change if i wasnt worried about shelling out a few extra dollars. It scares me to go back knowing i dont have a job and I'll find myself right back in the old position.."should i go out tonight? what about next month when i dont have a paycheck coming in" Life is good right now. and in one month it is about to change again, and I dont know how I feel about that.
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