work ethic

I have decided that the turkish work ethic really makes me angry. I know it may not be only "Turkish" but its what I've encountered here. I ask my students what did you do this weekend? They say " I studied" All weekend? I ask. That is pretty boring, surely you took a break and maybe ate something, You can tell me about that. No christy, i studied all weekend. Ok what did you study. If they say English, then i laugh because if you studied 48 hours of english and only english you would have at least done the 10 mins of homework I assigned. (of course i didnt actually laugh at my students when they say they studied, i praise them) The amount of studying my students say they do for their courses and the actual productivity seems unequal. I remember my very unproductive study days but that was normally when nothing important needed to get done. If i wanted to go to a party or meeting or something I prioritized, i worked hard for a few hours then I took a break and did the other important things. I knew that if i had to work I had two hours to do my homework. I made everything work.

I know that i was a good prioritizer and that this ability isnt the same for everyone, but I think especially in turkey it doesnt exist. I have turkish friends who i have asked to hang out. I'm sorry i'm studying all week, they say. I think really? No break for one hour and grab a coffee or tea. Nope, i must study constantly. these are people who I know are not being productive. Funny enough i know some of these people are studying for "english" tests. Interestingly enough i offer my help since i'm an english teacher, and they are too proud to accept help. I asked my turkish roommate about this and she says of course we wouldnt take your help. I am dumbfounded again. If i really needed to pass a test and anyone professionial in the subject offered to help me i would gladly accept. She said, nope christy, not in turkey. I was blown away. In a culture built on helping others they have a very individualist approach to somethings. - i guess this isnt true for everyone since i'm annoyed by those "i just want to practice english with you" people. my roommate actually said, christy I wouldnt ask you for help. I said thats a lie we practice all the time. But she rephrased and said if i offered help-which i have on several occasions because i know its important to her- she would never actually ask me to spend time teaching her.

It's so interesting that they wont accept free help, whereas I would in a heartbeat take free turkish lessons. I'm mostly frustrated with the missed plans with me because "i'm studying" I would love to observe my friends and students "study". Better yet, i should teach "prioritizing"

weekends

I'm reading a book right now that said " people dont ask you about your weekend unless they want to tell you about theirs" I couldnt help but think how true this was. In the US you always had to one up your conversation partner. You never ask about someones weekend unless maybe you are really bored and want any little piece of conversation starter. Here I always ask about my students weekend, mainly to get them talking but I have realized I always get teh same answer " i went home, i watched tv. i slept." Boring. If i tell them i did someting which normally i avoid the topic they think I am so adventous. However, i normally do my weekend activities out of bordom or ambition to get outa the house. This is purely not the case here. Their answer are so foreign to me however, I kind of like the lack of judgement when i say " oh i did absolutely nothing this past weekend"

21 days

It takes 21 days to break or make a habit. What are you suppose to do for those 21 days? 21 days can be a long time. i think i barely made it 21 days in my last living situation... but i think that was a completely different thing. I have now been back for 1.5 months. I'm finally starting to form some habits. I think life is better when you have routines and habits. I enjoy my mornings slowly rising, making coffee and relaxing, either reading,checking my email or talking with Sandra if she is here. The rest of my day always seems to be a blur as i've actually been working a lot. I have no idea what is going to happen when I actualy have morning class. I crave a future of certainty and routines.

Habits are forming in Istanbul and I'm starting to relax. The only problem is when there is a habit that seems all to framiliar that you try to break. I always live my life thinking that anything is possible, so even bad habits go away within time... perhaps 21 days worth of time.

home vs house

It has been in the last few weeks where i realized the the importance of what I did with habitat two years ago. I thought before, i've lived in crappy college houses and never had a problem. I do think it would be nice to raise families in nice housing so I happily built houses and supported the habitat mission. However with my recent experiences i now understand the importance of feeling comfortable in your house. There is nothing worse than dreading to go home. The constant avoidance of being at home, of bringing friends over due to what might be waiting you unexpected.

I am now much happier in a place where I enjoy going home. I know nothing crazy will be different. It does seem that they have changed something every time i come home. It is quite entertaining actually, as they are very crafty people. Life is looking up and my happiness level is definitely higher.

welfare

I had a lower level student ask me about food stamps and what they were yesterday. I explained or attempted to explaın our welfare system. Thıs ıs a complete foreıgn ıdea to turks because for them ıf they are poor they lean on theır famıly. the ıdea of an ındıvıdualıst socıety ıs very dıffıcult for them to understand. That theory hıt home wıth me yesterday as for the fırst tıme ı serıously contemplated baılıng and comıng home. I was worrıed about what ı would do and what people would thınk of me. I dıd realıze that no matter how much our socıety ıs based on beıng ındıvıduals we do have a sense of famıly and communıty and no matter what you are supported ın all your decısıons. I thınk that here they dont have that. You cant make crazy decısıons and be supported by your famıly. You cant even make decısıons that may conflıct your famılıes ıdeas. That ıs what ıs so great about our western culture.

New address

Hello faithful followers.
I will have mail sent to my school again. Here is the address. This is a bit differnet maybe now it wont get lost as much? I am also trying to befriend the office staff so they wont hide my mail in spite of me being a teacher. It is as follows:

English Time
Christy Corso
İstiklal Caddesi
Örs Turistik İş Merkezi No:151
Taksim / Beyoğlu, İstanbul 34300
TURKEY

I know I havent written much lately, but its because nothign spectaculare has been happening. I guess the biggest stuff in my life is hearing about all the drama going on back home. I often think "america has it all together" but when I talk to the people i know in America it seems like thier lives are incredibly stressful and depressing. I am sad i'm not there to be there for people who need it but, maybe that depressing section is out of my life right now, and that is a positive in my mind. I know the moment i come back I will be bombarded with questions about my future, what are you doing, why are you doing it. Dont you have a plan? All those questions present loads of stress. Yes those same questions are asked here but i feel like they arent asked with such a condescending town. "

Side note: Despite the fact that women's rights are pretty different here there are some perks to having men protect us in this culture. I'm sitting at starbucks and some creep starting talking to the girl behind me, from the moment he approached i saw all 3 male employees have an eye on him. they let it last for about 1 full minute and realized it was not wanted conversation and they quickly escorted him out. There is no messing around when it comes to making sure women are comfortable, which is always reassuring! (dad you can rest easy )

on the horizon

After contemplating taking the next flight out of Istanbul, my luck started to change. I think i had finally hit rockMy bottom. I am finally getting settled into what i hope will be permanent housing. I now live with two Turkish girls and a puppy. This puppy was the problem. The day i paid rent they decided to get a puppy, Our apartment is extremely small so I didnt agree that this was the best place to keep a dog. It has started to get better. The girl is doing a good job of taking care of it and is being very respectful. I think that is all i can ask for in this situation.

Job: i've been interviewing at other jobs, but i also have been weighing the pro's and cons . I really want to only be here for 6months and this is the only job that will offer that option. I am on good terms so far with the frustrating head teacher so I assume if she has no reason to hate me, I can go about my job peacefully. Also yesterday at the end of my class, i had three students come up to me and thank me for what i do. they said it was really useful and they were happy i was their teacher. that really changed my mind about jumping ship too. This branch is near failure. I don't have the heart to leave my students that are tryign to learn English. Its not their fault that the management is terrible. They have done nothing wrong to me.

I have been thinking lately a lot of about the captivity that my students and friends are in. they live in a world that is so different than mine. Its frustrating to see. I guess i'll touch on that more in later posts. But now I'm hungry..