On my bucket list since I came to Turkey a year and a half ago was to go to a football game. The reputation of the sports fans always made my opportunities a bit non existence. I would not go without the accompaniment of a turkish male. Which as my biggest struggle here is getting away from turkish men i always thought this wouldnt be so difficult. Wrong. Luckily, since extreme behavior at football matches is common, the teams are punished by making the next match a "free woman and children"only match. Every time i heard about this happening i pictured in my head a youth sports game with mom's trying to entertain and keep handle of children. I was wrong. As we walked down the large hill to the stadium (late of course due to class) we heard the overwhelming chant of female voices. That was our first little dose of shock. We managed to use our persuasive smiles to get some of the last tickets.
Now i've been to my share of sporting activities, and this by far tops them. One they did not let the chants die down for a single minute in the entire game. That was cool. Secondly. there was no alcohol. So when i picture loud energetic fans in America (or even the British games i went to) I picture the fans drunkenly falling over. Perhaps some had drunk before the match but there was obviously an overwhelming amount of sober enthusiasm. Also, there was maybe one stand for food. Why do our sports revolve around drinking and eating unhealthy food. I think our fans cant properly cheer on their teams when one hand has a cold beer and the other is holding a brat.
Through most of my experiences in this country, i have a certain image of women. None of which were sports loving energetic women. This was awesome. Finally a perk to being a woman in this country.
Monday, March 5, 2012
Thursday, February 16, 2012
every time lie
One pattern that has repeatedly shown up this time around has been the need to lie. I know all people tell lies. Its a habit we all find ourselves in sometimes, however, there is a different attitude towards lying here.
The lying topic is one of my favorite conversation topics in class. Every class i begin I start with the ice breaker game: two truths and lie, where each person says two true things about themselves, and one lie. I stump them every time when i say i have swum from America to Canada. Suckers...! Back to the point. More than once I have had students recite their 3 statements and we all take our guesses the student then confesses, " they are all true teacher, I don't lie." Frustrating, yes, and true? Definitely not. I normally catch them in a lie within the next two minutes and try to publicly shame them. I'm sure many people are cringing at this tactic but it normally works for me!
About a month ago I had the lying conversation in one of my upper level, and in my opinion pretty educated classes, they gave me a satisfactory answer. "Christy, we lie about everything, even things that aren't important. It is a big problem!" She then proceeded to tell me about a friend of hers who physically can't not lie. She asked him questions that were not important in which she knew the answers to and he blatantly lied to her. She asked why he lied to her, he said its out of boredom or its just a psychological problem.
Its one thing to lie in the sales industry, I think a whole new situation when you feel the need to lie to close friends and family. I have caught my students and friends in quite obvious lies, and they don't feel embarrassed they just cant believe I don't believe them. They feel completely normal. Normal? why is this normal. Have I been blindsided by everyone my whole life. Does this exist everywhere? Is this what our society has come to?
There is absolutely no trust. I want to say that this is why family is so important in the culture but i don't really think that is it. I hear them constantly telling lie after lie to their families.
This is a problem here, and its not only the Turks. I have caught myself telling more lies while I'm here and I have definitely caught people I thought I trusted in serious lies to myself as well. It just confirms the fact that you are who you surround yourself with.
Which brings me to my next topic, I crave changing my surroundings. Yes, I found some really cool people to be my friends for my time here, but they aren't the people that challenge me in the way I want to be challenged. They are all very intellectual people and have definitely taught me about culture, different cultures, and history. They have put very different perspectives on my beliefs and values. They have challenged me in very different ways than I've been challenged before. However, my realization that it is time to return to the US is very largely based on changing my surroundings. I felt as though my friends and family in the US challenge me to do good with my life, at the same time having me question why I do things. Before i was bored with that and wanted to change things up. I did that. It was great, I grew a lot, I changed a lot. Ever since I was a child I wanted to help others, I wanted to feel selfless in some aspect. I wanted to give more than I took. In a country of so much need, I feel helpless. I can't change anything. The resources aren't available. Thus, i must make due, find my niche and help where I can and make plans for the future.
Finally, my time is starting to come to an end. And i'm already freaked out about going back. I had to make a lot of changes in order to uproot my life. I'm afraid of scarring relationships, and changing so much that the existing relationships wont be what I remembered. The values, the ideals, the pace of life is so different than what I have been used to, it definitely freaks me out. But, it happens so much to me, I think I can handle anything thrown at me.
The lying topic is one of my favorite conversation topics in class. Every class i begin I start with the ice breaker game: two truths and lie, where each person says two true things about themselves, and one lie. I stump them every time when i say i have swum from America to Canada. Suckers...! Back to the point. More than once I have had students recite their 3 statements and we all take our guesses the student then confesses, " they are all true teacher, I don't lie." Frustrating, yes, and true? Definitely not. I normally catch them in a lie within the next two minutes and try to publicly shame them. I'm sure many people are cringing at this tactic but it normally works for me!
About a month ago I had the lying conversation in one of my upper level, and in my opinion pretty educated classes, they gave me a satisfactory answer. "Christy, we lie about everything, even things that aren't important. It is a big problem!" She then proceeded to tell me about a friend of hers who physically can't not lie. She asked him questions that were not important in which she knew the answers to and he blatantly lied to her. She asked why he lied to her, he said its out of boredom or its just a psychological problem.
Its one thing to lie in the sales industry, I think a whole new situation when you feel the need to lie to close friends and family. I have caught my students and friends in quite obvious lies, and they don't feel embarrassed they just cant believe I don't believe them. They feel completely normal. Normal? why is this normal. Have I been blindsided by everyone my whole life. Does this exist everywhere? Is this what our society has come to?
There is absolutely no trust. I want to say that this is why family is so important in the culture but i don't really think that is it. I hear them constantly telling lie after lie to their families.
This is a problem here, and its not only the Turks. I have caught myself telling more lies while I'm here and I have definitely caught people I thought I trusted in serious lies to myself as well. It just confirms the fact that you are who you surround yourself with.
Which brings me to my next topic, I crave changing my surroundings. Yes, I found some really cool people to be my friends for my time here, but they aren't the people that challenge me in the way I want to be challenged. They are all very intellectual people and have definitely taught me about culture, different cultures, and history. They have put very different perspectives on my beliefs and values. They have challenged me in very different ways than I've been challenged before. However, my realization that it is time to return to the US is very largely based on changing my surroundings. I felt as though my friends and family in the US challenge me to do good with my life, at the same time having me question why I do things. Before i was bored with that and wanted to change things up. I did that. It was great, I grew a lot, I changed a lot. Ever since I was a child I wanted to help others, I wanted to feel selfless in some aspect. I wanted to give more than I took. In a country of so much need, I feel helpless. I can't change anything. The resources aren't available. Thus, i must make due, find my niche and help where I can and make plans for the future.
Finally, my time is starting to come to an end. And i'm already freaked out about going back. I had to make a lot of changes in order to uproot my life. I'm afraid of scarring relationships, and changing so much that the existing relationships wont be what I remembered. The values, the ideals, the pace of life is so different than what I have been used to, it definitely freaks me out. But, it happens so much to me, I think I can handle anything thrown at me.
Friday, January 20, 2012
tehlikeli
I think its easy for me to deal with little frustrations that life throws at me. However i have come to realize that when i "deal" with those frustrations i mostly just try to forget about them. Then they all seem to add up in the back of my mind and eventually i have one big break down. For me that was two nights ago. One little thing triggered it and i think all my emotions came tumbling out. I had some supportive friends try to cheer me up. I went home and had some much needed conversations with friends at home, since it was normal time there. then the next day, had some very concerned turks check up on me. I felt a little bad about some crap i said about their country but to be honest. For the majority i feel like its true things. I have been incredibly lucky to find a few of those level headed intelligent ones and they showed that by their concern and caring for me over the past year and a half.
On to the caring turks, i realized how much better/ easier my life is here because i teach adults. I cant count the ways they have made my adjustment to this city better. I know if i need anything they are definitely ready and willing to help me. For example, here if you need anything medical you dont go to the doctor you go to the pharmacy tell them your problem and they give you medicine. However finding english speaking pharmacies are a bit tricker. luckily in my level 5 weekend class (very good speakers) i have two pharmacists. I talked to them about my problems and its easily fixed. They were glad to help me.
Another issue that i've been encountering a lot lately is the term "dangerous" or "tehlikeli" in turkish. Everyone and everything is "tehlikeli" Its actually a bit comical to me. I was talking with one my students last weekend. She asked how often i go out. I said maybe once a week. She said, "oh i dont go out" I asked why. She said before she was never allowed to but at age 23 she would get permission but she doesnt want to go out now. She has learned to live a life in the house and not go out. I asked, well you dont want to go drink coffee with your friends on the weekends? She said "maybe, you know i can get permission now, because im older, but istanbul is dangerous, i should just go home" I was a bit in awe. Yes i understand its a city of 17 million people. Yes i understand there are crappy people here, Yes i understand that people are out to scam you here. Buuuuuuuuut, i do feel a whole lot safer here(minus the threat of earthquakes and suicide bombers) I just dont see the random muggings, held up at gunshot, type situation that freaks me out about american cities.
When i explain to my students i live in tarlibasi (which in their minds is the bronx in new york) they get very worried about me. I tell them its not so bad. That i actually feel safer walking home at 2am there and I would never be so daring to do so in America. I've gone out with my students a bunch lately and i swear every other word is "he is dangerous, they are dangerous, that place is dangerous" but what causes this? Is it the fear placed in their minds from over protective parents? I was walking down the street and they freaked out about my purse which was zipped up and next to me. I'm not an idiot, i know how to act in a city, but they are extremely worried. I worry that parents put fear in their children to keep them at home, or to slightly brainwash them. Apparently its working as they are constantly paranoid. Why not just teach intelligence. I think i like that option a whole lot better. I guess i'll talk to some of my educated turkish friends about this. Hopefully its not a "dangerous" subject.
On to the caring turks, i realized how much better/ easier my life is here because i teach adults. I cant count the ways they have made my adjustment to this city better. I know if i need anything they are definitely ready and willing to help me. For example, here if you need anything medical you dont go to the doctor you go to the pharmacy tell them your problem and they give you medicine. However finding english speaking pharmacies are a bit tricker. luckily in my level 5 weekend class (very good speakers) i have two pharmacists. I talked to them about my problems and its easily fixed. They were glad to help me.
Another issue that i've been encountering a lot lately is the term "dangerous" or "tehlikeli" in turkish. Everyone and everything is "tehlikeli" Its actually a bit comical to me. I was talking with one my students last weekend. She asked how often i go out. I said maybe once a week. She said, "oh i dont go out" I asked why. She said before she was never allowed to but at age 23 she would get permission but she doesnt want to go out now. She has learned to live a life in the house and not go out. I asked, well you dont want to go drink coffee with your friends on the weekends? She said "maybe, you know i can get permission now, because im older, but istanbul is dangerous, i should just go home" I was a bit in awe. Yes i understand its a city of 17 million people. Yes i understand there are crappy people here, Yes i understand that people are out to scam you here. Buuuuuuuuut, i do feel a whole lot safer here(minus the threat of earthquakes and suicide bombers) I just dont see the random muggings, held up at gunshot, type situation that freaks me out about american cities.
When i explain to my students i live in tarlibasi (which in their minds is the bronx in new york) they get very worried about me. I tell them its not so bad. That i actually feel safer walking home at 2am there and I would never be so daring to do so in America. I've gone out with my students a bunch lately and i swear every other word is "he is dangerous, they are dangerous, that place is dangerous" but what causes this? Is it the fear placed in their minds from over protective parents? I was walking down the street and they freaked out about my purse which was zipped up and next to me. I'm not an idiot, i know how to act in a city, but they are extremely worried. I worry that parents put fear in their children to keep them at home, or to slightly brainwash them. Apparently its working as they are constantly paranoid. Why not just teach intelligence. I think i like that option a whole lot better. I guess i'll talk to some of my educated turkish friends about this. Hopefully its not a "dangerous" subject.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
accents
I finally passed my 4month hump on my contract. I must say it feels pretty good. I also was dreading the next four months a little bit. However, I did just get my new schedule a few minutes ago, not only do i have the weekend off but I have a good schedule for the next 8 weeks. I can actually enjoy my last 4 months here and travel.
I was hanging out with one of my british friends last night and he wanted to show me some famous film that they all keep quoting. I think it was british equivalent to office space. However, afterwards we watched some scottish sitcom. I realized how a language so close to mine was so difficult to understand. I thought about my students having a mixture of accents for teachers. That must be really difficult even though we try to all speak very clearly.
I was hanging out with one of my british friends last night and he wanted to show me some famous film that they all keep quoting. I think it was british equivalent to office space. However, afterwards we watched some scottish sitcom. I realized how a language so close to mine was so difficult to understand. I thought about my students having a mixture of accents for teachers. That must be really difficult even though we try to all speak very clearly.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Happiness
Tonight my roommate Rabia and i had our classic "romantic dinner night" as in we cook food put on cheesy romantic music and eat together which happens everytime we are home and hungry at the same time. She asked me "When was the last time you were really happy" To me this seemed like either a depressing topic about to be started or a genuine look at my life.
This seemed like a stupid question because everyone knows that "I am the girl that smiles and is happy all the time" then i started to think about how many times i'm smiling and laughing but its really fake. I answered by saying the previous night at my class. they were really good and high spirited. I enjoy teaching in that atmosphere. I am lucky to have a job that makes me happy because i know so many people who are absoluely miserable at their job or looking for one. I realized that even in my lowest points in life i still have a warm group of people around me that are here for me. granted this group of people has changed due to my constant relocation but regarless of that God has blessed me with a support system near and far to make my bad moments good.
As i think about this christmas season, I think about all those who have the "holiday stress" and they dont remember what teh season is about. I think i can cherish it a bit more than normal since i missed it last year, and I'm coming from a country that doesnt know jesus. It is my joy everytime my students ask me about christmas and waht i do and why i'm so excited about it.
This seemed like a stupid question because everyone knows that "I am the girl that smiles and is happy all the time" then i started to think about how many times i'm smiling and laughing but its really fake. I answered by saying the previous night at my class. they were really good and high spirited. I enjoy teaching in that atmosphere. I am lucky to have a job that makes me happy because i know so many people who are absoluely miserable at their job or looking for one. I realized that even in my lowest points in life i still have a warm group of people around me that are here for me. granted this group of people has changed due to my constant relocation but regarless of that God has blessed me with a support system near and far to make my bad moments good.
As i think about this christmas season, I think about all those who have the "holiday stress" and they dont remember what teh season is about. I think i can cherish it a bit more than normal since i missed it last year, and I'm coming from a country that doesnt know jesus. It is my joy everytime my students ask me about christmas and waht i do and why i'm so excited about it.
Monday, December 5, 2011
rollercoaster
I know i've been terrible at updating this, and everyday i think about somethign i want to post but i'm never around a computer and i forget to write these things down. I think the only thing i can update properly on this thing is that Turkey round two has been quite the rollercoaster. it has had its ups and downs. My office is going a bit crazy again. theres loads of interesting drama goingon with friends. Needless to say. I'm excited to go home for christmas but am also excited i'm coming back. The may end point scares me a bit.
Monday, November 14, 2011
work ethic
I have decided that the turkish work ethic really makes me angry. I know it may not be only "Turkish" but its what I've encountered here. I ask my students what did you do this weekend? They say " I studied" All weekend? I ask. That is pretty boring, surely you took a break and maybe ate something, You can tell me about that. No christy, i studied all weekend. Ok what did you study. If they say English, then i laugh because if you studied 48 hours of english and only english you would have at least done the 10 mins of homework I assigned. (of course i didnt actually laugh at my students when they say they studied, i praise them) The amount of studying my students say they do for their courses and the actual productivity seems unequal. I remember my very unproductive study days but that was normally when nothing important needed to get done. If i wanted to go to a party or meeting or something I prioritized, i worked hard for a few hours then I took a break and did the other important things. I knew that if i had to work I had two hours to do my homework. I made everything work.
I know that i was a good prioritizer and that this ability isnt the same for everyone, but I think especially in turkey it doesnt exist. I have turkish friends who i have asked to hang out. I'm sorry i'm studying all week, they say. I think really? No break for one hour and grab a coffee or tea. Nope, i must study constantly. these are people who I know are not being productive. Funny enough i know some of these people are studying for "english" tests. Interestingly enough i offer my help since i'm an english teacher, and they are too proud to accept help. I asked my turkish roommate about this and she says of course we wouldnt take your help. I am dumbfounded again. If i really needed to pass a test and anyone professionial in the subject offered to help me i would gladly accept. She said, nope christy, not in turkey. I was blown away. In a culture built on helping others they have a very individualist approach to somethings. - i guess this isnt true for everyone since i'm annoyed by those "i just want to practice english with you" people. my roommate actually said, christy I wouldnt ask you for help. I said thats a lie we practice all the time. But she rephrased and said if i offered help-which i have on several occasions because i know its important to her- she would never actually ask me to spend time teaching her.
It's so interesting that they wont accept free help, whereas I would in a heartbeat take free turkish lessons. I'm mostly frustrated with the missed plans with me because "i'm studying" I would love to observe my friends and students "study". Better yet, i should teach "prioritizing"
I know that i was a good prioritizer and that this ability isnt the same for everyone, but I think especially in turkey it doesnt exist. I have turkish friends who i have asked to hang out. I'm sorry i'm studying all week, they say. I think really? No break for one hour and grab a coffee or tea. Nope, i must study constantly. these are people who I know are not being productive. Funny enough i know some of these people are studying for "english" tests. Interestingly enough i offer my help since i'm an english teacher, and they are too proud to accept help. I asked my turkish roommate about this and she says of course we wouldnt take your help. I am dumbfounded again. If i really needed to pass a test and anyone professionial in the subject offered to help me i would gladly accept. She said, nope christy, not in turkey. I was blown away. In a culture built on helping others they have a very individualist approach to somethings. - i guess this isnt true for everyone since i'm annoyed by those "i just want to practice english with you" people. my roommate actually said, christy I wouldnt ask you for help. I said thats a lie we practice all the time. But she rephrased and said if i offered help-which i have on several occasions because i know its important to her- she would never actually ask me to spend time teaching her.
It's so interesting that they wont accept free help, whereas I would in a heartbeat take free turkish lessons. I'm mostly frustrated with the missed plans with me because "i'm studying" I would love to observe my friends and students "study". Better yet, i should teach "prioritizing"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)